Perfect Mommy - Part II
>> Tuesday, September 15, 2009
You know - I have to thank all of you for your responses to my post about caring what others think. I know we're all in the same boat sometimes and it's so nice to be validated - to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this way. You try to tell yourself that it doesn't matter, that you have more important things to worry about...but honestly, in the end, you sometimes still feel like that awkward teenager in high school - worrying that you'll have friends or that you'll fit in.
I had a perfect mommy moment the other day.....and I was not the perfect mommy -- or was I?
The other morning, we were running late to preschool. I didn't have time to shower, let alone get dressed. My hair was pulled up into a twist, I had the bare minimum of makeup on, and I think there was cereal on my yoga pants. I always tell myself -- I may look like hell when I leave the house sometimes, but I ALWAYS make sure my kids look like a million bucks.
So, there I am - schlepping my 13-month old, my 4-yr. old year, her backpack & lunch box (because she felt the need to give all this to me so she could pick some weeds (er, dandelions) for her teacher) - when I run into Perfect Mommy. You know the one - hair washed & blown out, jeans that fit perfectly, cute little top that doesn't accentuate saggy boobs, perfect makeup, and cute little sunglasses used as a headband. She smiles at me with that smile that says, I acknowledge your presence, but please don't talk to me.
I schlepp (um, walk) past her and softly say "Good Morning" hoping she doesn't hear me when she says good morning back and THEN.....THEN has the nerve to say -- "Running a little late this morning?" while giving me that up & down once over look. (OK, so we were -- but gee, do you have to throw it in my face?) I wanted to die. I wanted to run home, shower, and start the morning all over again. But then Nani came up to me with a handful of dandelions and said, here mommy, these are for you. I took them with a big smile. Perfect Mommy's little girl tried to pick some flowers too and Perfect Mommy screeched out - don't touch those! They're covered in chemicals and pesticides and probably have bugs on them! I watched her little girl's face fall, and my heart broke for her. I then watched Nudgie shove one into her mouth.
I laughed. I laughed so hard that I had to drop everything (except Nudgie of course). I held Nudgie tighter and watched as she examined that dandelion as if it was gold. At that moment, Nani came up to me with her hands full of baby pine cones. I looked over at Perfect Mommy - who's child was standing there looking like a clothing store mannequin....you could see the longing in her eyes, that she wanted to play too - but was told no because she would dirty her outfit, that pine cones were dirty, and dandelions were full of pesticides.
Here mommy, I found more treasure for you. Yes Nani - you did find some treasure for me. But they weren't tangible treasures. Your treasure showed me that I may not be perfect - I may not look all put together - but I allow you to play, explore and express yourself. The treasure I discovered is Nudgie's wonder at a dandelion and Nani's pride at being able to make her mommy smile with just a handful of pine cones.
I'll take Schleppy Mommy over Perfect Mommy every time....









