In Response to "Stirring the Pot" and UPDATE

>> Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tonight I came across a blog that set my blood boiling.  Army Wife, Army Life wrote a post calling out the National Guard saying that our spouses are NOT soldiers and that we cannot call ourselves Army Wives.  Through a friend's suggestion - I removed the link to her post because I just won't give her any more traffic to her blog.  (UPDATE:  Since the social media firestorm, her blog has now officially been removed!)

Well, let's just say that did not sit well with me at all -- and me being not one to keep my mouth shut had a lengthy response written and all ready to post -- until I discovered that she shut down comments for her blog.  If you can't stand the heat.....

But I still have a response to you on......


First of all - yes, this is your blog and you are entitled to your opinion. But, if you are not prepared for the backlash of comments in response to your ignorance, then you should have just kept your little “Army Wife” mouth shut.  And obviously you couldn't handle the responses because you shut down comments on your blog.

Second - how DARE you. How DARE you think that you and your husband are so far above any National Guard service member and to say that we don’t rate ourselves as Army wives or that our husbands can't call themselves soldiers. How about you say those words to the widow of a great man that we just buried from our battalion this past August because he was shot down in his helicopter in Afghanistan? Or how about you say to the other SOLDIERS from his unit that their PTSD does not matter because they are not soldiers - according to YOUR definition.

I HAVE been an active duty wife. My husband served in active duty for 6 years. After a distinguished career in active duty, he choose to join the National Guard and I now proudly call myself an ARMY WIFE. As a National Guard SOLDIER, my husband puts on the uniform EVERY SINGLE DAY and reports to work at the base. He was under the impression that by joining the National Guard, things would slow down (the one-weekend a month, 2-weeks a year that you refer to). We couldn’t have been more wrong.

Since joining the National Guard, he has been deployed multiple times, participated in the same training exercises that “Big Army” does, is gone for weeks, often months, at a time for training courses and schools (just like your husband would be), has been called out in the middle of the night for state or national emergencies, and has been supporting active duty units that can’t support themselves while they are CONUS. Not to mention that over half of the National Guard are prior active duty (meaning that they come from ALL services) And so you want to tell them that they are not “real soldiers”?

And now, I have issue with some of your points:

“Respect the higher ranks. When I met my husband's 1SG, I made sure to put my best foot forward. I put on a nice outfit, did my hair, and put makeup on my face. Used manners; ma'am, sir, please, and thank you. I sat quietly and spoke only when addressed. If I had a question, I waited for a break in the conversation, and said 'Excuse me.' It's simple really. I see none of this when Vermont Guard spouses get together for an event with their spouses.”  

Boy, you sure make us National Guard wives out to be a bunch of hicks. Let me just tuck my bra strap in my shirt and put down my beer can before I say that obviously, you have not been around active duty wives too much sweetheart. Because, unfortunately, there are active duty wives out there who can’t spell manners, let alone know the meaning of it. So before you lump all of us into an uneducated, unmannered group of misfits, take a drive down Main Street of an active duty base….and then we’ll talk.

“Respect your husband when he's in uniform. Just because my husband and I aren't on post when he's in his uniform, I keep the 'handling' to a minimum. Technically, you aren't even supposed to hold hands with him when he's in uniform. I keep a hand on the Hub's elbow, or not at all. I don't sit on his lap, I don't make out with him, we hardly kiss for that matter. I see none of this when Vermont Guard spouses are together.”

Hold on one second while I take my tongue out of my husband’s mouth….and let me refer you again to the above statement.

“Respect the uniform itself. Don't put it on and take sexy pictures with it, with boobs/butt falling out all over the place. That's just trashy. A fun picture with his cover on is one thing, flaunting your assests is another."

Ok, I need to stop laughing before I respond to this one. Have you seriously read what you wrote? “Don’t put it on and take sexy pictures…” However, you husband responds in his defense of your writing that, and I quote, "She looks great and very sexy in the uniform” Ummmm….have you LOOKED at the picture on your blog??? Oh, and please use spell check for “assets”.

You have been a military wife for less than a year. I have been a military wife for almost 17 years now. I dare you to respond to me and not call me an Army wife. I dare you to tell the widow of that helicopter pilot of more than 20+ years that she is not an Army wife. I could sit here and bash your husband and not call him a “real soldier” because he’s just a recruiter, but I would not lower myself to your standards. Your husband is a soldier -- just like mine. We’re supposed to be on the same side -- fighting for the same cause -- for the country we love.


The commander of a Vermont-based Army recruiting station issued a public apology yesterday  afternoon for the remarks made by a soldier there on an inflammatory, viral blog post written by that soldier’s wife that sent the online spouse community into a whirlwind.


Tracee February 9, 2012 at 8:33 PM  

Well said! I'm not surprised to learn she has been an Army Wife for less than a year. She has a LOT to learn. Even my Air Force husband said the services dog each other, teasingly, but when it comes down to it those are your brothers and you respect one another. He especially felt as a spouse she should keep her mouth shut. I agree. Most of her facts were wrong... I was pretty angry when I first read it but then realizing how incredibly ignorant she is... Well it's not worth arguing with stupid.

camille February 9, 2012 at 9:13 PM  

LOVE IT!!!! my husband is deployed for the 3rd time..she really needs to watch what she says..cause she is opening a can of worms that she does not want to deal with!!! she will have a lot of backlash from her blog..and my husband was part of the deadliest month in Afghanistan when his unit lost 11 a 2 week period and not even a month later lost 2 more people in the whole 10 years the war had started...while her husband sat back in the states and recruited people to join (nothing against any other soldier who is home i am happy you are home i wish my husband was home but can not have that) I love this post!!<3

Anonymous February 9, 2012 at 9:21 PM  

This is beautiful. It's like you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you for being a STRONG Army Wife.

jamie February 9, 2012 at 9:22 PM  

THANK YOU! Very well said! I juat wished that all military spouses had a thinking much like you! And a personal thank you for your husband and your family for making the sacrifices that you have and continue to make for our country.

sgt'swife February 9, 2012 at 9:34 PM  

Love this.... I have been both an active duty wife as well as a NG wife and this made my blood boil... and all the things she said we couldn't argue... I have an argument for every one.... Iit was my experience as an AD wife that the only women that felt the need to belittle others to make themselves feel better were nothing but tag chasers....

Anonymous February 9, 2012 at 9:41 PM  

You forgot to mention that she is disrespecting the uniform by wearing it because she is wearing it with the reverse flag on her right arm....something this NG soldier's wife knows and she obviously does not and either does her husband for that fact. It's really sad.....

Pretaportre February 9, 2012 at 9:57 PM  

Well said! She is the type of 'wife' who doesn't know her position and believes her husband's rank is her rank and everyone should obey her. I couldn't believe the audacity of her degrading our branches because they aren't "up to par" with her standards. Girl needs a reality check. She needs to sit the eff down.

Karie February 9, 2012 at 10:09 PM  


I really couldn't have said it better myself! As an "nonregular" Army Wife myself, thank you to you and your husband for everything you do! Pretty sure this wannabe needs to be educated on the pride, dedication and devotion an Army Wife has for ALL military branches.

Quinny February 9, 2012 at 10:19 PM  

Absolutely agree with everything you said. I tried posting but found it was closed, too. You spoke much more eloquently than I would have.
I'm Air Nat'l Guard and have been for 27 years. I have deployed to the Middle east in 4 separate decades, much less this recruiter's 2 times. When I read this at work, sitting on my post, (funny, it isn't the weekend) I was so boiling mad I couldn't see.
How dare "Hubs" say that he was offended to be mistaken for NG because we aren't "real soldiers".We are a real as they come. I do get into playful arguments with some of my AD counterparts about being real or not, but that is all it is. Just said in fun. When it is time to go we have one common enemy and objective. We have the same regs, the same training, the same uniforms, the same command structure, on top of taking care of our home states in the event of disasters and times of need.
If they do ever respond, ask the "Real soldier" if he still salutes NG officers since he is so much more than we are.
Again, great post. You said without all the curse words I was using exactly what needed to be said.

Susan February 9, 2012 at 10:25 PM  


As an Air National Guard wife, I found myself incredibly irritated by her condescending, ignorant post. I had many of the same thoughts that you expressed so well in your post, but you said it much better than I could have.

My deepest sympathies and condolences to the families of the men in your husband's unit who lost their lives. Their sacrifices and heartache are no less real, just because the Guardsmen weren't "real Soldiers".

Anonymous February 9, 2012 at 10:27 PM  

I think you can post comments now. I just checked. This was very well said and is something she and her husband should both read. As a wife of a national guard soldier, it's sad that she is picking this battle. We are all equals and as you said, supposed to be fighting this fight together.

Crystal Smith February 9, 2012 at 10:29 PM  

You took the words right out of my mouth!!!! I am a National Guard wife of 14 yrs and in the last 8 yrs my husband has been gone atleast half of the time. He's missed 4 yrs of his children's lives to protect ignorant people like that. It's very disrespectful for her to say he is not a soldier!!

Crystal Smith February 9, 2012 at 10:29 PM  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Allison Robinson February 9, 2012 at 10:30 PM  

HA! Oh sad little newbie wife, she sure has a lot to learn! No worries, the other wives will set her straight...or make her hate her life. Of the 4 years I've been married to my husband he has been deployed 2 of them.He missed the birth of our son because he was in Iraq. Not sure how much more real it can get having to watch your child be born via Skype. When he is actually "home" he is gone flying missions more than not. That would be because he is in a unit on an aircraft the active army doesn't even have! Oh, and we are about to spend the next 2 years at Fort Rucker while he trains to become a pilot. I just want to slap this girl in the face!!

Corey February 9, 2012 at 10:31 PM  

Love it, you have every right to state your opinion! Go you, thanks for sticking up for us. YOU are an amazing Army Wife. :)

Anonymous February 9, 2012 at 10:34 PM  

Very well said. Thank you for a well thought out, well rounded response.
My husband joined the ARNG instead of going AD after much thought and considerdation, I was in school, we had just had our second daughter, she was barely a year old when he left for BT. We assumed, (yeah, you know what happens then), that being ARNG would mean being home more.
Yes, we knew he would deploy at least once as he joined after 9/11. While he has only deployed overseas two times, out of the six years he has been in he has been gone for almost 5 including school, training, TDY, individual orders, etc. He rarely is able to do his 'weekend warrior' thing because he is too busy doing AD/title 10 orders. He has missed most of our youngest child's life and a good portion of our oldest. So yes, I think I deserve to call myself a proud Army Wife...just as any spouse, parent or sibling of ANY armed service member deserves to call themselves proud *SERVICE*mother/father, wife/husband, son/daughter. Be it Active or Reserve component, whether the service member is retired, or just doing their first week of BT...they all signed the dotted line. They all are willing to pay the ultimate price.

SFC's Wife February 9, 2012 at 10:36 PM  

I tried commenting on this blog, but she had shut down comments. My response to this woman is:

Hubs said "At no time was this blog meant to offend anybody, regardless of military affiliation or not." Hubs' wife said "...but they are not, by any stretch of the imagination, soldiers." THAT is offensive. My husband has been both active duty (for 8 years) AND National Guard (for 6 years), and is a soldier, regardless of whether he gets paid by the state or federal government.

As for being an "Army Wife" or not, I agree that there are differences between being an Active Duty wife and a non-deployment National Guard wife. There is less emphasis in NG of the "rules of etiquette" regarding PDA in uniform, I agree. Also, AD families are moved from place to place, and NG families never have to experience that. But during times of deployment, when my husband is being shot at in a foreign country and my children and I are at home worrying for his safety, am I to take your word for it that he is NOT a Soldier and I am NOT an Army Wife?? I think NOT.

To quote the author, "spend more time respecting others for what they are... You'll be a lot happier for it, I promise." :)

I also noticed she's been married to an Army man, oh, for 6 months... Sorry, honey... I've been an ARMY WIFE probably since you were in diapers... Oh, and I'm curious if she knows what BDU's are... yeah, we still have some of those from when I was a "real" army wife... :)

Thanks for your post! Sharing it on Facebook... :)

K. Morgan February 9, 2012 at 10:39 PM  

Fabulous! RIGHT ON!! I can't believe she's been married less than a year and is preaching about things she knows nothing about. Her whole Blog made my blood boil. The hypocrisy was the worst: don't pose in his uniform, but she did & her husband called it sexy; lecturing on proper etiquette in front of command and while your husband is in uniform, yet she was knocked up when she got married? And she's never been on a "Big Army" post before?! She's going to get eaten alive. What pisses me off the most--it's a tie between NG personnel aren't "real" soldiers and their wives can't call themselves Army wives. Are you kidding me?! I think sometimes the NG units work harder than the "real" Army units and soldiers. And the PTSD thing....she's just stupid, period. A) Having PTSD does not make you less of a man or a woman. B) Her husband may not have any symptoms now, but check again in 10, 20 years. C) Maybe he doesn't have PTSD because he never left his cozy little base while deployed. Who knows. I know this comment is immature and my use of words is lacking, but I am so ticked off. My husband has served in the USMC for 17 years, 4 deployments and yes, he has PTSD and you know what? I would NEVER disrespect another military wife or family by posting the dribble she has. We're all in this together. Thank God for ALL our service members, especially the NG for picking up the slack.

Anonymous February 9, 2012 at 10:46 PM  

Love your post!!

What an ignorant fool! I am so glad you figured out a way to reply to her awful blog post, and I hope she reads it!

Her ignorance was a theme throughout her rant - "The Guard ACUs are almost exactly the same as AD Army" - Really?!? They are exactly the same you idiot! She needs to grow up and shut up, especially since she is so new to the military.

Thank you for clarifying some of her misconceptions! Unlike her you were articulate, knowledgable, and funny.

...and BTW my husband is a 1SG - you don't say sir to senior enlisted service members!

Random13 February 9, 2012 at 11:30 PM  

Thank you! Well said. I am personally not an Army wife but I do live with my sister who is and, as an Air Force Brat I have high respect for all members from all military branches. I hope karma bites them in the behind.

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 12:13 AM  

I cannot believe how ignorant you are. Clearly, you need help defining what an Army Wife truly is because if you knew who we are and what we stand for, you would know we are all on the same page regardless if we are full time Army, National Guard, Reserve.. It does not matter because we all have the same job: to love, honor, support, and respect our spouse, the military, the uniform, the flag.... You are a disgrace to all Army Wifes out there. I've been to war and served 6 years with the National Guard. Don't you ever talk about the Guard in that way again.

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 4:19 AM  

check mate!!

her blog post had my blood boiling. who does she think she is? ugh.

you hit the nail on the head.

Teresa Warner February 10, 2012 at 5:29 AM  

Thank you for your response. From the sound of it you and I have pretty much the same lives! My husband was also active duty for 10 years and joined the Guard and has now been in another 5. I couldn't have said it better myself. And yes, my husband too has been gone more since he joined the Guard than he ever was on Active Duty. This girl's an idiot! Love your post!

Semalee February 10, 2012 at 5:47 AM  

I couldn't comment on her blog, and I looked for the way to email her, but couldn't find it, so I'm posting my response to her here:

Dear Mrs Idiot:

I am a veteran, who proudly served ACTIVE DUTY ARMY in Ft. Jackson, SC and Ft. Bragg, NC in an Airborne Unit. I am very proud of my service, and of the service of those around me. I was surrounded by great people.

Being in a front line unit at Ft. Bragg, we had many NG members working with us on a regular basis. AT NOT TIME would I have EVER thought that they were less of a soldier than I was. I am floored that the two of you would think this way, and I would agree that this needs to be brought to your superior. This is certainly not the attitude of a PROFESSIONAL soldier, but the attitude of a stupid kid. I work with many of those too, and I knew as a soldier NOT MATTER WHAT BRANCH OF THE MILITARY that there were solders I needed to watch my back around, and soldiers that I wouldn't drag out of a field of open fire. Your husband is clearly one of those. You better hope he doesn't deploy, because honey, with this attitude he's likely to get himself killed.

WE all make mistakes and say stupid things when we're young, and you have a little pregnancy brain going on too. I hope you don't pass these feelings of self-righteousness on to your innocent child. And, I hope that as you learn to parent, that you will do a little growing up. It sounds like it would do you some good.

ssgbyrdswife February 10, 2012 at 6:25 AM  

Well said!! So many "big army" wives take this stance and its disgusting! My husband like yours has served active duty for several years prior to going guard and he went guard for the same reasons, however as you said it didnt happen that way. I have argued with these wives for years what they dont realize is on the field of battle these soldiers dont stop and ask if the soldier helping them out of a dangerous situation is guard or not and then say no to the help. on the field of battle they are all the same. and sadly the only differance is the tacky , classless wives who go out of there way to insult a guard wife or her soldier. How dare her insinuate our husbands and and women in uniform are less important!!! shes the tacky classless one!!! and not all wives have these free for all sessions while there soldier is in uniform, so maybe she should stop hanging out in "hick" territory and learn some respect and manners. omg shes got me mad........ but my point to this tyrade was that I want to thank you for defending your fellow guard community as wives in the military we should be building each other up not tearing each other down. we all miss our deployed spouses the same and love them the same she is NO BETTER THEN WE ARE!!

hartman February 10, 2012 at 8:10 AM  

I'm not even part of the military and my blood was boiling.
I was offended by her picture in her "hubs" uniform.
I was offended by her cruel comments about PTSD. Having a "rock solid mind" has NOTHING to do with PTSD. I too have a rock solid mind and suffer from PTSD. And she has no clue if her "hubs" has it or not. He may be hiding it from her. It may show up later. Mental illness has nothing to do with profession!!!
I giggled when I saw how long they had been married. My thoughts are that she is insecure. She's about to have a baby. She's been thrown into a world she isn't ready for. (Military wives -- you are amazing with all you do/go through!!!) She needs an outlet and chose one that is harmful -- placing herself above others.

You women are amazing. Your husbands are amazing too. I am so thankful for you because I couldn't do it. Praise God for gifting us with different talents/desires. I just with that women would realize that life isn't a competition.

Thanks Jennifer for your words!

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 8:13 AM  

Thank you for being classy and educated in your response to "Army Wife".

Jaclyn February 10, 2012 at 8:17 AM  

So wait girls, let's do the math here- she's been married less a year to an Active Duty soldier.... oh the long deployments she must have been through, oh wait! There's no way! Women like this make me sick...I'm sure she will be VERY popular with all the other Army wives and I hope she keeps posting about all her Army Wife experiances...I can't wait to hear all about how the wives at FRG roast her a** for being a big mouth....well you know what word I after there.

Mrs. Chung aka PFC CHUNG February 10, 2012 at 8:37 AM  

I read her post late last night after moving all day long and was instantly heated. Her blog was the first thing I thought of this morning and was very happy to see your blog. According to her standard I am a real "army wife" but not a soldier. My husband is an active duty member AND I am a member of the Army reserves. I do not appreciate a an educated civilian telling me that I am not a soldier. First of all she states that it is somthing your Drill SGT pounds into your head. I am sure this army wife has never been to BCT but my Drill SGT poked fun at all of the National Guard and Reserve soldiers often. This is a joke that we got from active duty members often and I'm sure this is were she picked up this mentality from. It is one thing for a fellow Military Member to poke fun however I don't appreciate a civialian that obviously doesn't know much abouth the military demoting me. She states that when she met her husbands 1SGT she addressed him as SIR OR MA'AM. This member has worked incredibly hard to acheive his rank and is a memeber of the NCO CORE not a commisioned officer. He should be addressed by his rank FIRST SERGEANT. Being a military wife comes with a lot of commitment and many sacrifices. The only real difference between active duty spouses go though constant relocating and when our husband get deployed we are left at the last duty station often far away from our families. Yes this is difficult, however, it does't make us any better. She also states that her husband puts on his uniform everyday as opposed to one weekend a month 2 weeks a year. As a reserve member I got a chuckle out of this. You are a soldier every single day regarless of being in uniform . We (as members of the Guard and Reserves) are expected to maintain our mission readyness including physical fittness and medical readyness. Unlike active duty members we do not get paid to perfrom PT or maintain medical readyness or get time off of work. This is ontop of working a full time job and drilling on weekends including any traning that we are sent to, not limited to 2 weeks out of the year. We as military wifes should all be proud of our husbands and should stick together. My advice to the author of Army Wife, Army Life is that she should stop wearing her husbands rank. If she wants to continue bashing Army wives and Military members then she should put down her frying pan and computer and stap on an ACH and IBA.

Susannah Sharpe February 10, 2012 at 8:40 AM  

THANK YOU! I'm not good at putting everything in words and you did a great job! My husband has been AGR for 35 years and still has 3 years to go. His last 2 deployments have been back to back and we are possibly looking at another 1 soon, which would be about 10 months since he came home. We had 10 days notice on this last one and I was 9 months pregnant. I delivered 10 days later, with his oldest daughter by my side. I could say a LOT about her husband being a recruiter, but I'm not lowering myself to her cretin level. Our daughter didn't meet her daddy til she was almost a year old. I would just like to say that her hubby doens't have PTSD like my hubby does, because he hasn't been on multiple combat missions back to back. She should be greatful that my husband went so hers could stay home.

Julie February 10, 2012 at 9:20 AM  

Perfect response. Literally. :) I am a brand new Navy spouse, and I promise that I, as a new spouse, could not disagree with her more. Thank you, and your husband!, for being willing to serve our country, for sacrificing so much of your lives, and for trying to help such a sad, obviously unhappy, ignorant young girl understand what a military spouse really is. If you ask me, her blog in itself automatic disqualifies herin my book, because from what I have found true of military spouses, the first think they are is SUPPORTIVE. Maybe she should think about that. You (and your husband) ROCK!!!!

Christine Ellsworth February 10, 2012 at 9:20 AM  

THANK YOU! I wanted to comment so bad but she disabled them. She has the freedom of speech but she is refusing to hear anyone else.

I've been an active duty Army Wife for 10 years, she has no idea what this life is about to say that anyone is or isn't an "Army Wife". She's been married all of what 5 months? And her husband had the nerve to defend her? The whole thing made me sick.

MaryAnne February 10, 2012 at 9:34 AM  

Sounds like she's learning the hard way. Military is military, and if you need proof, visit any military cemetery...

Whitney @ Everything Happens For a Reason February 10, 2012 at 9:51 AM  

I am a new follower! I'm a National Guard wife. I read the original girl's post, and I got showed your blog, because it was a great response to what the girl wrote. It made me so mad to read her post. To be called not "real" is just disrespectful. It is really hurtful! Last time I looked, they go to BT, AIT, trainings, deployments, and even the same uniform. I really don't know what to say about that post that the girl wrote, I'm honestly speechless.

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 9:53 AM  

Very well said. My response would not of been that clean. It was full of bad words lol. Yours was witty and more educated and you could spell!

I would just like to point out to all of you that the word NATIONAL actually means state.. see I didn't know that until reading her blog. You know because she seems to think the NG is state militia..

I'm an "army wife" to be. I guess I get to call myself that as she totally forgot to bash the reserves and their wives.. I was really disgusted by her post. I hate elitest army wives who wear their husbands rank. Its tasteless. And while I do agree with the whole taking sexy pics in the uniform I found it hilarious that her man pic is that which she is bashing. AND that the flag is incorrectly placed. I respect all military and military SOs for what they do. I understand all the hardship they endure for her dumbass to sit there and type her bullsh**.

I really hope they get in trouble. They both need a lesson in respecting th military.

Now I've never been to vermont, but here where I live when my man puts his uniform on people don't stop and ask him if he's AD, NG or reserves. They stop him, shake his hand, and thank him for his services.

Bethany February 10, 2012 at 10:13 AM  

EXCELLENT rebuttal! Bless this girl's heart...she truly thinks she has it all figured out. It's so unfortunate that she's begun her Army Wife journey in such a way. She could have really benefited from the wisdom and advice of the NG spouses in her area, and instead, she's chosen to behave this way. I hope that she comes to her senses. Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen, which is truly sad. The Army Wife family -AD, Guard, & Reserves- is such a wonderful group of women to have in your corner during the hard times (deployments, trainings, etc). It's too bad that she's ostracized so many women who more than likely would have been friends and/or mentors to her.

Steph February 10, 2012 at 10:24 AM  

I couldn't agree more. My husband has been both Active Duty and Guard. Each has it's own sets of challenges.

She needs to realize that we are all supposed to be on the same "team."

Vicki February 10, 2012 at 10:28 AM  

I have no personal affiliation with anyone in the military (besides friends). However, I did read and was horrified by the original poster's attitude and ignorance. You on the other hand wrote a brilliant rebuttal and I have to applaud you. You posted with class, respect and integrity. I am proud and honored to live in a country where there are military families such as yours who make daily sacrifices so that we can live with the freedom we do. THANK YOU for this beautiful post, and THANK YOU to your husband for all he did and continues to do to honor his everyone in this great country of ours!

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 11:37 AM  

Thank you for this. Military is military regardless of what position our significant others hold. I am a soon to be National Guard Army wife and this definitely got me going. We all deal with the absence and trials that being in the military brings.. we should all be supporting each other not comparing whose husband or wife is better and who has had to deal with more trials and tribulations. Great response.

Jane February 10, 2012 at 12:12 PM  

I LOVE your response! I was fuming when I read her blog and I am a "real" Army wife. I don't think she has any idea how bad she makes herself look by writing those things. It makes me look like the uneducated hick she is claiming ALL NG wives/soldiers to be. And, the husband's response makes my blood boil too. How dare he think he's better than a NG soldier. Plus, he is a recruiter, he is the one who gets to look at the next 4 years without a deployment. But, that is brought up too as NG aren't real soldiers because they have longer dwell times. (Which I know nothing about and don't even know if that is true.)

Kalen - Kentucky Cupcake February 10, 2012 at 12:43 PM  

I haven't read the original post.

But from what I gather, this woman really finds her identity in being an "army wife" and it sounds like to me she is insecure outside of that identity, so she felt compelled to defend it. Sadly, if she defines herself simply as the wife of a guy that chose a dangerous profession (because really, that's what it is - the same to me as the wife of a policeman, fireman, oil rigger, etc.) then she is really selling herself short.

Maybe she'll grow comfortable enough in her own skin that she won't feel the need to challenge others in an attempt to lift herself above others.

I see a lot of people trying to one-up each other and I think the bottom line is that it doesn't really matter how many times someone has been deployed or how many trainings they've done - they chose a difficult lifestyle that will cause their spouse some stress along the way. And it would be so reassuring if the spouses could support each other instead of getting into some spitting competition.

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 1:30 PM  

You said this much better and much kinder than I would have. Kudos to you! And well I dont like to wish bad on people so I will just wish that her husbands orders takes her far away from her hometown where he currently works and she can get a taste of this "army wife" business she so claims to be more entitled too!

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 1:34 PM  

Well said, thank you for finding the words that I could not. I've had plenty of family and friends that went Guard after active duty.... Really though, I wouldn't be surprised if her husband got reprimanded for agreeing with her, this kinda shit makes the Army look bad. Especially when it's put public for other COUNTRIES to see, not just saying it around her town and what not. Should be interesting.

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 3:09 PM  

I love it!! I am an "Army Wife" to a National Guard solider who is deployed at the moment. My husband also was prior service active duty!!

She has alot to learn in regards to the military! I hope she has learned a lesson!!

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 3:19 PM  

Thanks from a proud AF wife. Well said!!

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 4:31 PM  

I really, really hope she called her husband's 1SG "sir" LOL

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 5:34 PM  

He did get reprimanded.

Reccewife February 10, 2012 at 7:43 PM  

Thanks for sharing :) I wrote my own 'kinda' response here

Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 8:22 PM  

Great response. My husband and I are both in the Air National Guard. Who is she to belittle National Guard members? Just because the stigma is one weekend a month, two weeks a year does not negate the fact that we deploy and often do training requirements on our own time. Last time I checked it reads US Air Force on my blouse, not Air National Guard; I went to the same BMT and the same Tech School as Active Duty. My husband has been deployed for about six months now, but maybe I shouldn't miss him because according to that loony's standards, he's not even a real airman. We are all imperative to the mission; love to all the military spouses whether they're AD, NG, or Reserves!

Anonymous February 11, 2012 at 2:37 AM  

I found this young girl's blog to be so "interesting" (to say the very least and dripping with sarcasm) that I actually forwarded it to a MG's spouse...who also happens to be a NG spouse...I wonder what she (and her husband for that matter) will think about that particular blog...

Missy February 11, 2012 at 9:47 AM  

I think I love you. =)I'm so thankful you tucked your bra strap in, put down the beer can , AND took your tongue out of your husband's mouth for this post.

This is by far one of THE best and most well written rebuttals to her ignorance. Thank you so much!

Mrs. Mootz February 11, 2012 at 11:47 AM  

I've been writing about this on my blog since I started it in 2007 and I've even had words with "real" Army wives when they put the NG down on their blogs. It's a never ending battle. It's sad that there are members of the military community that think they're better than the rest because of their spouses branch or rank or whatever. You're post is great and says exactly what I would have wanted to say.

One of my favorite things to point out though is that even the DoD (on their website) called those in the Army National Guard soldiers. Regardless of what anyone else says, I think the DoD would know the correct name of servicemembers, so any argument to the contrary, no matter how passionate or eloquently stated, is just not correct.

Mom February 11, 2012 at 2:17 PM  

Right on Jenn!!How proud I am that you are my daughter-in-law and had the courage to stand up not only for my son but all NG families. The sacrifices made by all NG families is nothing short of amazing and they do it willingly. Thank God we have the NG and their families. You are more of an Army wife than this chick will ever hope to be! Congrats and Love!!! Mom

SFC's Wife February 11, 2012 at 6:02 PM  

Does anyone have a copy of the original offending blog? I wish I would've have the foresight to copy it down before she deleted it altogether...

StephieD February 12, 2012 at 10:33 AM  

Hooah And AMEN!!!
I'm an Army Reserve wife and I am SOOO Tired of people telling me I shouldn't carry an ACU purse or have an Army Wife sticker on my car because my husband isn't a "real" Solider. Excuse me?! We've lost friends to OIF/OEF, we did 4 years of AD before going on Reserves, he talks every day about going Active again when his contract expires in 14 months. And that 1 weekend a month 2 weeks a year? BULLSHIT! My husband is about to miss my son's birthday for the 3rd year in a row because he is going to a school, deployment, or whatever. This year he will be missing a week this month, another week in March, and the entire month of July because of training. I wonder how many weekends her husband has to work and miss time with his family?
I think it's crazy that she couldn't stand the firestorm that hit her blog. If you can't stand the heat, stay the heck out of the kitchen!
Thanks for defending those of us who aren't "really" married to the Army.

Vivian February 14, 2012 at 10:47 PM  

What a beautiful, well-thought out response! I am so very proud of you...and I can see that many others feel the same way!
Ignorance causes many people to "sound off" about things they no nothing about, whereas people like you, Jennifer, speak with the knowledge that only experience can give you. :)

Lynn February 26, 2012 at 4:27 PM  

Very well put!!! Having been the spouse of an active duty military man for over 20 years, I was embarrassed by her rude and ignorant comments. To all of you out there, active duty military, National Guard, Active Reservists God Bless you all. Each and everyone of you should be proud of what you do for your country. And everyone of us should be proud of you!! Everyone of you make sacrifices and and for those of you out there that do not believe that, you are as ignorant as "Stirring the Pot" is.

Anonymous March 2, 2012 at 2:09 AM  

at no point is an "army wife" a formal title or an occupation. it's just something military spouses call themselves so they can feel good about themselves. who really cares what this so called "army wife" said....obviously, all you "army wives" have nothing better to do than complain to a computer screen. an army wife is the same thing as a non-army wife....they are a spouse. get over your overly sensitive, estrogen producing selves!

WhisperingWriter March 6, 2012 at 9:00 PM  

Wow, I'm sorry that person said something like that. How ignorant.

Great post!

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