In my role as FRG Leader for our unit, I am so blessed to have an amazing Command Team that works closely with me. And I have to say that I LOVE our unit's 1SG.....and especially his sense of humor.
With that in mind, I thought that I'd share one of my care packages with him. I realize that there are some things that the Army will issue to him to assist him with his job. However, there are a few things that the Army does NOT issue.....and personally, I think these are much more important! So I put together some essential items to help him with his day-to-day duties!
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Oveall picture of the box and its contents |
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Side Panel |
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Close up of items in the box |
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Checklist of items in box and what they are to be used for. |
In case you couldn't read the list in the picture, here's the text:
1SG Checklist:
· Hemorrhoid Wipes: Because some Soldiers are just a big pain in the ass
· Trash Bags, Drop Cloth & Toilet Paper: Because working with some Soldiers is like potty-training a puppy or a toddler. They piss everywhere when yelled at and you’re constantly needing to pick up/wipe their shit.
· Protective Eye Gear & Face Mask: Because when some Soldiers fling you a line of bullshit, you need to protect yourself.
· Tongs & Gloves: Because NO ONE wants to touch someone’s bullshit…not ever!
· Bullshit Detector: You know when you’re being handed a line of bullshit. Save your vocal cords! Don’t yell! Just hit the Bullshit Detector and all is well!
· Nutcracker: Every Soldier needs to have a good “nut-crackin’” just to keep them in line.
· Advil, Pepto, Heartburn Meds, Milk of Magnesia: Because at some point, someone is either going to give you a migraine, an ulcer, heartburn, or acid reflux
· Coffee & Coffee Mug: Because it’s a rule that every 1SG MUST drink coffee…even if it IS out of a Mickey Mouse mug
· Stress Reduction Kit: Because no self-respecting 1SG will “reduce his stress” with yoga or Zen meditation. A good old-fashioned head banging will just do the trick!
I really wish I could be there when he opens the box!!
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