January No Spend/Low Spend/Decluttering Challenge

For those of you who have followed me, you know that this past Fall I did a Saving & Giving Challenge where I challenged myself not to compulsively shop for new craft supplies, books or clothes as well as declutter and give away as much as I could.  It was about 50% successful on the spending front and 100% successful on the decluttering/giving front.  

With the holidays, spending was out of control and decluttering was put on a hold.  So now it's time to sit down and put that plan back into action.

So, I give you my January Goals:

1. No purchasing of books, clothes, toys, craft supplies, unless I can use store credit or gift cards.  Evaluate purchases that do not include food, toiletries, medication.
2. Track spending & bills to help me start planning a better budget.
3. Inventory what's in my freezer and use that to meal plan - using what's here & buying only necessary food items
4. Declutter!  Three target areas for this month are the bathroom cabinets, the storage cabinet in our family room and Christmas items.
5. Consign or giveaway any items from decluttering challenge 
6. Start rebuilding savings accounts for the girls and our emergency fund.  Return to plan of depositing My Marine's extra military pay.
7. Work on business plan for my store.  Add new items to inventory.  Order business cards (using money from business sales).  Make a plan for selling at craft fairs.  Explore other options for marketing.
8. Take the change jar to the bank to count & deposit.

And there it is......small & simple!

What about you?  Do you have any goals for January?

 

 

~~ Jennifer

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Saving & Giving Challenge - What I Learned..........

It's mid-October and I realized that I never did a recap or end-of-challenge blog post for the September Challenge.  I really couldn't believe that the month went by so quickly.....but it was definitely an eye-opening, lesson-learning experience for me!

So what did I learn?

I learned that I CAN put money into savings and not think twice about spending it.  I learned that I LIKE seeing the numbers grow in that savings account and that when I see that savings build up, it makes me think twice about wanting to spend. When I would spend money I didn't have, the account would be red, and I'd have to transfer money from savings to cover that. But now....I think twice.....but then I also find myself swinging to the other extreme at times-- not wanting to spend at all.

I learned that when I put my mind to it, I can avoid the impulse buys.....but I learned that I still have a long way to with controlling my emotions.....or rather, letting my emotions control me......as my binges proved.  I learned that I can recognize those trigger emotions and try to come up with better coping techniques.

I learned that my organizational OCD tendencies can prove to be very beneficial when planning a budget and making sure that bills get paid on time.  I starting marking bill due dates in my calendar and deducting them in the checkbook right away so that I can see - in black and white - where the money is going.

I learned that auto bill paying can be my best friend

I learned that I still have problems writing actual checks for bills where auto pay is not an option.  I learned that I need to figure out why this is such a sticking point for me and come up with a better way to deal with this.

I learned that, while some unplanned expenses will pop up (i.e. car repairs, unexpected tickets from vacation, etc.), I can cope a little better knowing that I have a little bit of a savings cushion right now.  (See point #1)

I learned that my compulsive spending has led to a minor case of hoarding and a big case of clutter.  They go hand in hand for me.  I learned that I'm not a big full-price buyer and that my compulsion is fueled by the thrill of finding good bargains and sales.

I learned that it's ok to let it all go.  I learned that it feels so good to just give and not expect anything in return.  I learned that this is something I want to continue to do in the months to come.

I learned that I still have a long way to go and that I will never have this 100% under control.  I learned that each day will present it's own challenges and that only I can choose how to handle them.  Some days I will succeed.....and some days I will fail big time......and that's ok. 

As long as I learn and keep moving forward, it will all be ok........

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Saving & Giving Challenge - The Binge

I realized that I haven't posted a check-in update for a couple of days....heck, almost a week.  It really wasn't intentional......but maybe subconciously it was.

This past Friday, I had a binge.....which led to a full blown weekend binge.

Friday started off as such a good day for me.

I was excited to get my haircut......to have some "me" time.  I stopped at Starbucks on my way and used my gift card to purchase a coveted Pumpkin Spice Latte.  I got a great cut, but not some great news that my stylist raised prices by $10.  I didn't budget for that, but it was fine and I was happy with my cut, so I paid it and gave him a tip (cash, which was planned).

On the way home, I stopped by Michael's to return some stuff I found stashed in my garage.  No question -- it was going back.  It was only a $7 return, but it was $7 back in the bank rather than junk laying around that I'd probably never use and end up giving away anyway.  I was so proud of myself for not walking around the store and buying anything.  I was proud of myself for even throwing away the 40% off coupon that I got with my return receipt.

I was doing this.  I could avoid the temptation if I really put my mind to it.

Or so I thought.

That night, I was supposed to have plans with some friends.  A girls' night out.  I'd been looking forward to this for DAYS!  My Marine has been gone a LOT and I desperately needed to blow off some steam before he left again on Sunday.  But the plans changed and my night got cancelled.

I was disappointed.  I was angry.  I was hurt.  I was irritated and annoyed.  I started to feel trapped and even my family started getting on my nerves.  So, I grabbed my purse and told My Marine I was heading out for a bit - to get a coffee.

I headed to Barnes & Noble.....and bought the coffee......and a bunch of books.

I could have stopped there, but I didn't.  My triggers were already in play and it's hard to get those demons back into the box once they're out.

On Saturday, I binged again.....more books, stuff for the girls, an unplanned stop at the Farmers Market, extra spending at the grocery store by going off the list.

On Sunday, I binged again when I took the girls BACK to Barnes & Noble after we took My Marine to the airport.

Sunday night, I sat and looked at the results of my binge and I could justify it by saying that I deserved it because I've been holding down the fort alone for so long....again.  Or that my plans changed so that I took the money I would have spent on a night out and spent it anyway.  Or that my kids needed something to help them cope with Daddy being gone....again.

But there was a big difference, this time I knew exactly WHY I did it. I knew every single emotion behind every single purchase.  Those emotions were so strong that it drove me to get a fix.  It didn't matter that I didn't need any single thing.....I just needed that high.  But knowing that awareness and recognizing it is HUGE for me.  That was something that had never been there before.  I would always push those feelings down and focus on my purchases.  Trying to hide them or find space to put them took the place of me confronting WHY I bought all that stuff in the first place.

I had high expectations for this monthly challenge.  I really thought that I could get through the month without a big binge.....but I was wrong.  I'm human.  I'm an addict in recovery.  I'll probably fall off the wagon more times than I'm on it.....but as long as I stay aware and recognize, I'll be one step closer to fewer relapses. 

 

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The Cycle of an Addict

In my compulsive spending mind, at times, I think more about how I could spend my money and what I could spend it on, rather than do the responsible thing like, oh....I don't know....pay bills.

It's always the same story. It's a vicious cycle.

Each pay period I tell myself that I will be responsible. I will track what I spend. I will not do any unnecessary shopping - which means staying out of the craft stores, book stores, clothing stores.

But inevitably, the temptation or trigger kicks in and the urge grows so strong that it's literally hard to ignore that deep-seated want.  Like this past Friday when I had a "fix"......I knew exactly what triggered it.......I was angry.  I was angry and disappointed and hurt and fed up.  I felt all those things and told myself that I needed to feel better -- and nothing here in my home was going to do that for me. 

Other times it's boredom or avoidance.   I drop the kids off at school and don't want to go home and face the mountains of laundry, the dirty dishes in the sink, the dust bunnies holding a HOA meeting in my living room......so let's go kill time shopping. 

And with those thoughts -- the cycle begins.

The mad dash to shop -- to buy things that I just don't need - but because I want it. I have to have it, although I don't know why. The euphoria of finding good deals. Of finding something I really like and instead of buying just one - I buy one of every basic color. At craft stores I'll buy supplies, telling myself all the while that it's a project that I'll get to. When in reality I've got LOTS of projects I'll "get to" sitting in my garage, my laundry room, on my living room floor.

But then there's the other side. The downside once the binge is over.

The euphoria is gone.  The buyer's remorse that sets in. The guilt that eats me up inside. The negative self-talk that I go through over and over and over. And it's always the same.

"You're so stupid. How could you do that again"

"You just have no self-control."

"You're useless and worthless. If you can't control this, then no wonder your life is so screwed up."

"You're such a disappointment to everyone."

And then once I finish that conversation, I just tell myself that I'll "make it right" by taking some stuff back. Completing the cycle. At least until it starts all over again.

In the midst of all this, I would try to hide my spending. Trying to stay one step ahead. Trying to detour my husband from wanting to spend money.  I'd get angry when he'd want to spend money on a 6-pack or go to Happy Hour. I now understand that I was projecting the anger I felt at myself towards him.

In Debtors Anonymous, we are taught to immediately start tracking our spending and to take it one day at a time. In my case, it has to be one hour at a time......sometimes even a few minutes at a time.  We are also encouraged to be held accountable - which is where this blog and my FB page comes in.

By writing and sharing, I am holding myself accountable. And just for today, I will take it one hour at a time.

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Saving & Giving Challenge - Days #16 - #17

Day #16
*  Started to purge, declutter and clean up the mess that I've made in our garage.  I've put things in there with the well-intended meaning of "I'll get to it later"......and 6 months later, it's still there, but with more stuff around it.  Boxes of stuff just waiting to fall over and crush one of my children or my dog to death.  I was worried about pulling my Jeep into the garage with the fear of running something over. 

I went through one large blue tub and one black trunk full of stuff I was waiting to sell.......clothes, books, games, stuff I used to teach the girls before they went to school and even when they were in school.   All sorted into piles -- things to donate, things to consign or things to give to friends.

I honestly felt really good about getting through that stuff.  I threw things away without thinking twice.  I put things into piles or trash bags and didn't bat an eyelash.  I will admit that there were a few things that I felt that twinge and that little voice that said, "Go ahead and hold on to this....you can sell it".  But I got over it......

I liked the feeling of reorganization and how uncluttered it looks.


Day #17
*  Payday today.  I went to the grocery store with my list......and I stuck to the list.....sort of.  Once I got to the store I realized that I forget to add a few things.  Technically they were supposed to be on the list to begin with, so I really didn't count them as "impulse buys".  But I DID toss in some ice cream and a box of pumpkin spice oatmeal.  Both of those were TRUE impulse buys.  (But it was PUMPKIN SPICE OATMEAL for heaven's sake!!!!)  Still -- UNPLANNED - $12.00

*  Sat down with my calendar and checkbook and planned out the next two weeks and the bills that are due.  Deducted any upcoming automatic payments and balanced out the checkbook.  For the first time in YEARS, both the checkbook and the bank balance were the same.

*  Another first for me......I ended a pay period in the black......not by much....but it was in black.  No overdrafts.....no extra spending.  Major high fives for me!

 

*  Remember all the decluttering and purging I did yesterday?  Well, I did some driving around today dropping stuff off at Goodwill and passing some things on to some friends.  Also made arrangements with some other friends for some of this other stuff too.  Feels so good to get rid of this stuff!

Stuff this morning before I loaded it up in my Jeep

 

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Saving & Giving Challenge - Days #13 - #15

Day #13
*  Checked the bank balance today to discover another deposit for My Marine's extra pay.  Put that directly into savings.  I was very happy to see that account getting built back up again.

*  Very unhappy that I missed an autoship payment for my Shakeology.  I totally forgot that I even had that set up to autoship and deduct from my account.  Contacted them right away to cancel any future shipments/payments.  I'll keep the bag that's already been shipped.  Between that one and the one I already have, it will last me until after the holidays.  (UNPLANNED - $150)

*  For the first time in MONTHS, my account has been in the black.  I'm very, very proud of that.

*  Payday is this week again.  I started my grocery shopping list again, as well as some menu planning.  I know there are still ways for me to cut back the grocery bill a little more.


Day #14
*  Took my trash bags full of clothes to be donated.  It felt so good to get the clutter out of my garage AND to know that they are going to a worthy cause. 

 

Now with those bags gone, I have room to start going through the other half of the garage.  I told myself that if I clear out the garage, then I can bring my fall decoration boxes down from the attic.

*  Over the weekend, my friend shared with me a blog written by a recovering spender.  She had written a book about her journey to get out of debt and control her family's spending.  I looked it up with the intention of saving it on my Wish List for later......but discovered that I can borrow it FOR FREE with my Amazon Prime membership.  I think I'm meant to read this book now.

*  I made an appointment for a haircut.  I had to do it.  My hair is out of control.  I was hoping to make it until October, but it just wasn't going to happen.  Upside - I'm just getting the cut.....no color.

It's slow going......but I'm good with that!

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Saving & Giving Challenge - Days #7 - #12

I continue to move forward. 

Some days I think that I'm just not accomplishing anything....but then there are the days where all I want to do is high five myself for completing a challenge -- whether purging or money/bill related.

Here's some high and low points from Days #7-#12

*  Still on the original tank of gas from when I filled up on payday.  No extra shopping trips = more gas in the tank (and less I'll have to fill up next payday)

*Cleaned out my closet and got almost EIGHT bags of clothes, shoes and other items ready to drop off for a women's & children's shelter.  Felt so good to unload all that stuff!

*  Did my weekly shopping for perishables and fresh produce.  Stuck to the list.....sort of.  I ended up buying some ice cream for the girls.  They've been bugging me for DAYS to go to Cold Stone.....and each time I say no because "Mommy's not spending any extra money".  But I got tired of the nagging and figured that I could take what I'd spend on Cold Stone and buy a 1/2 gallon of ice cream that might last a little longer.  ($3.99 UNPLANNED)

*  I met a friend for coffee this morning at Barnes and Noble.   I know, I know....the temptation. BUT....I didn't buy anything -- not coffee, not a book. I took my breakfast shake with me and had my water bottle in my bag. THEN....on the way out, I spotted two books I would have loved to buy, but instead....I took pictures of them on my phone to save for another time.....like my birthday or Christmas.

*  The workout tank tops that I ordered before the challenge started arrived.  One, I noticed, was poorly made.  I emailed the manufacturer about it, but immediately started browing the internet to look for another one to buy to replace this one.  I didn't think....I just started doing it.  And then I stopped and thought how easy it was.....that immediate need.....the gratification of getting what I want right then and there.  Stopped what I was doing and added that potential purchase to the green post it note.

*  I had to buy a new bath mat for the tub.  This was a definite NEED.  It was either spend $12 on a bath mat or hundreds of dollars in medical bills because either myself or someone in my family was going to slip and have a major head injury.

*  I had some more unplanned spending. I went to King Soopers to buy more ice cream for the kids and saw that Starbucks has Cinnamon Dolce Kcups. Cinnamon Dolce is my favorite coffee behind pumpkin spice......so I picked up a box. Then I took the kids to Sonic for lunch today.  And here's the thing -- there was nothing behind it. I wasn't shopping out of anger or boredom or anxiety. I was hungry and wanted lunch. I like the coffee, so I bought it.  And you know what.....I'm ok with this. It's ok for little treats every once in awhile. I bought lunch and some coffee......I didn't go on a full blown shopping spree for clothes I'll never wear or books I'll never read. I bought ice cream & lunch for my girls and saw the smile on their faces. I'll cherish the sanity I feel when I drink that coffee in the mornings before the kids wake up. And it's ok.......($30 UNPLANNED)

*  We went out to dinner during My Marine's drill weekend.  He came home after a long day and decided he didn't want pizza (our normal Saturday night meal), so he suggested we go to a local sandwich shop that just opened.  ($30 UNPLANNED)

*  We bought a new phone for me.  I would call it a WANT, but My Marine would call it a NEED.  It was on it's last legs for sure and doesn't hold a charge for more than an hour.  I wanted to wait another 9 months until his was paid off, but he insisted we get this phone now.  Paid $57 yesterday for all the administrative fees, but tacked on another $30 to our cell phone bill each month.  ($57 UNPLANNED + extra $30 EACH MONTH)


I can say, that so far, my eyes are definitely open a little more to how I shop and why.  I still feel a little guilty over those unplanned spendings over the past few days, but I'm learning to be OK with it.  That sometimes it's ok to have a little splurge every once in awhile......in fact, it's necessary.  But I'm also learning to recognize the difference between a splurge and a binge.  I'm also learning that I can manage this, recognize when a binge is about to happen, and take steps to make sure that it doesn't. 

My journey will never be over......but I can sure make it a lot more manageable.

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Spending & Giving Challenge - The Great Closet Cleanse

Finally -- after 10 days, I finally did it.  I got into my bedroom and began The Great Closet Cleanse.

 
The chapters in Jen Hatmaker's book, "Seven" about clothes and spending really hit me hard.  I looked into my closet and saw sweatshirts and jeans falling off the top shelf.  Hangars crammed into what little space I had.  Shoes and boots just laying on the floor because I had no place to put them.  And let's not talk about the dresser drawers I couldn't shut.  The laundry basket of clothes I couldn't put away because I had no place for them either.

I had to stop the madness.  The clutter was killing me.

So, I finally did it.  I gathered up large trash bag and laundry baskets.  Anything I was going to keep would go into the laundry baskets - to be rehung and refolded when I was done.  Anything I was going to give away would go into the trash bags......no questions, no debating, no second-guessing myself.  Into the bag.  The end.  I found these guidelines which I used........

I opted to start in the closet because I had the feeling this was going to be the hardest spot for me.  Surprisingly, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be......but it was extremely eye-opening.

*  I had clothes that I bought years ago...that still had tags on them.  Never worn.  I remember buying them because they were on sale.  Into the trash bag they went.  No debate.

*  I had over 20 pairs of jeans.  TWENTY!  In various sizes.  I even had a pair of maternity jeans that I loved and wore when I was at my highest weight because they were "cute and hip".  I also haven't been that size again in two years.  Into the bag they went.....along with about half of the other jeans I had.

*  I discovered that whenever there was a sale on something I liked, I would buy multiples of that item....sometimes in different colors.  But here's the thing.......very rarely do I wear colors.  My clothing color palette tends to run towards black, grey, navy.....neutral colors.  Why in the hell did I have a closet (and drawers) full of pink, yellow, green shirts.....most of the them still had tags on them.  Into the trash bag.

*  Sweaters.....I very rarely wear sweaters.  I'm a sweatshirt, long t-shirt, occasional button-down shirt kind of girl.  I picked a few that I would still wear and tossed the rest into the trash bag.

*  Sweatshirts.....this was a little harder.  Sweatshirts are my wearable scrapbooks.  Every sweatshirt I had has meaning for me.  But there were a few that I let go.....the USMC hoodie with a broken zipper, the Pittsburgh sweatshirt with the perpetual coffee stain.  But where I was stunned the most was the sweatshirts that had no meaning -- the Old Navy, solid color sweatshirts.  I had close to 10 of those.....because I knew they were comfy and once again, I bought multiples.  FIVE black sweatshirts -- they were all the same.  I kept one.  Same with the grey and navy sweatshirts.


As the day went on I purged t-shirts (again multiple numbers, multiple colors), pajamas (flannel pj bottoms are my staple in the fall/winter), work clothes (I haven't worked in 10 years and haven't worn a dress in probably just as long).  Old bras, ratty underwear, socks.......GONE

It went on and I felt more and more guilty.  All those trash bags FULL of wasted money.  FULL of results of shopping trips because I was bored, angry, sad.  Clothes I never wore or wore once and let it hang with the thought, "Well someday......."

   
Someday will never come for these clothes......at least not for me.

When all was said and done, I had a clean, uncluttered closet and drawers.  I felt good.....no regrets.

At the end of the day, I had SIX FULL trash bags waiting to go to a women's shelter. 

I am being very specific about where I want these clothes to go.  I don't want them to go to Goodwill or ARC.  I want them to go to a place where a woman trying to start over can pick out my work suit and possibly go on her first interview in years.  I want them to go to a woman who can put on those flannel pj pants and Old Navy sweatshirt and snuggle with her kids to read a story.

I want to know that some good can come from my addiction and that, in some small way, I made a difference.

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Saving & Giving Challenge - Days #5 & #6

Day #5
*I'm starting to feel that maybe being so open about my struggle addiction is really not such a good idea.  I'm feeling like I'm under a microscope.  I'm feeling judged.  I'm feeling like I'll be criticized for every purchase I make....."Oh, well she's trying to save money and get out of debt, but look what she just bought".  I feel like I'm under a microscope.....but it's a microscope I put myself under willingly.  I chose to bring my story to the light.  But now it's a choice I may be regretting.   I can't put the crap back in the horse.  It's out there now.  A big steamy pile that everyone can see and smell.....and turn their nose up at......and shake their heads at me thinking "what have you done".  I worry about what people will think of me, that I will lose friends, that I'll be lectured.  I spent a good part of the day in turmoil over this.

*Normally, after gymnastics and ballet we would go to the Farmer's Market, which is at Southlands. Since I did my produce shopping at Sprouts this week AND there was the big sidewalk sale going on this weekend, I just avoided the temptation and we just didn't go at all.

*Earlier this week, a friend had mentioned she had a friend coming into town and that we should go out. I immediately jumped in and said YES....and to let me know when so I can get a sitter. As I was laying in bed tonight, it hit me.....I can't go out. That would require spending money -- on a sitter, on drinks, maybe on food. SHIT! I took a breath, texted my friend and told her that I can't go out with her and her friend. She responded that she totally understood. I really do have some great, supportive friends.

*I got no purging done at all today.  Actually, I take that back.....I purged a few things from my DVR.....and by "purged", I meant seeing unproductively on my couch blowing through my DVR'd episodes of Ink Master.


Day #6
*Ups and downs.  This journey is just full of ups and downs.

*I went to the bank to withdraw cash for the girls.  (PLANNED)  When it's our payday, it's payday for the girls and their allowance too.  If there's one thing I'm fanatical about with them -- it's teaching them good money habits now.  I don't want them to be me in 30 years.....starting their own blog or having their own Facebook page, writing about their struggles with debt.  So we do the "Save, Spend, and Share" jars with them and they divide their allowance by threes.  (I'll write more about this a little later)

*As I was on Facebook throughout the day, I would remove pages that would be a temptation to me.....Groupon, Amazon, Michaels, JoAnns, ARC Thrift Store, Goodwill.  If I thought any page would tempt me to click and spend, it was gone.

*Another friend suggested I give myself an "allowance" to spend.  I will consider that once this challenge is over.....but for this month, it's cold turkey.  No extra spending - period.  I chose to challenge myself this way.  I started a green post-it note....this is where I write down everytime I wanted to spend money.  I write down what I wanted to buy and how much it was.  By the end of the month, I'll have an estimated amount of how much unnecessary spending I truly do.......and I can't do this project if I give myself an allowance.

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Saving & Giving Challenge - Days #3 and #4

Day #3:
Today, the real challenge begins for me.  It's pay day AND I have to go grocery shopping.  Those first two days were freebies.....but the real work begins today.  Last night I sat and planned some menus and made my list.  I felt like I was taking a test and the clock was ticking down until the buzzer sounded........BUZZZZZZZZ!!!  Time's up, pencils down.....your list is complete.  If it's not on the list, you can't have it.

And guess what......I did it!  I stuck to the list!

Another goal of mine this month is to track our grocery budget for the month.  I usually go grocery shopping every pay day (twice a month), and spend about the same amount each time.....so I KNOW there's room to cut back!

A couple of other accomplishments today:

*I also stopped and filled up the gas tank  -- which was a planned spend.  I also need to look at my calendar and figure out how to combine days to run errands, etc.  BUT....if I'm not spending, then guess what....I'm not driving....which means saving money in gas!  I'm tracking to see how long it will be before I have to fill up again.

*I turned off all the notifications for all the FB garage sale sites that I'm a member of.  I used them mostly for selling, but occasionally would buy something off there.  No sense in tempting myself, so off they go!

*I posted on my page that I ask all those friends who have businesses to please NOT add me to any special sale groups or send me any invitations to their online parties.

Overall, I felt good about Day #3!  That sticking to the list thing was HUGE for me!


Day #4
A lot happened today to test and challenge me.......

But first, I want to know who's bright idea was it to start a No Spend Challenge right as one of the biggest sales since Black Friday is getting started this weekend at my favorite shopping center???????  ::sitting in a corner rocking back & forth::

Oh yeah.....that would be me......

I post this on my Spending Less, Loving More FB page and I actually got a response back from Southlands (or whoever the Great Oz is behind the screen responding for them)

Wow.....I was truly surprised that I got a response from Southlands at all......but seriously? Granted, The Great Oz running their page may not have taken the time to fully visit my page to know that I struggle with compulsive spending. BUT.....they did see that I was doing a NO SPEND CHALLENGE. Why on earth would you even try to discourage that?  I feel like they just patted me on the head....saying, oh how cute....good for you....but we hope you'll still come and visit anyway. Kind of like saying to an alcoholic.....oh, we know you struggle with sobriety, but come hit the bar during Happy Hour anyway! 

But I will stay strong and avoid the whole place this weekend, in spite of Southlands' pleasant invitation.

So moving on......

*I had friends over for the evening and didn't go overboard.  I used what I had in my home and everybody brought something to share.

*I texted a friend to tell her that I couldn't buy the top that she was selling on one of the garage sale sites.  I told her I was interested before the challenge -- and I really love that top -- but I just couldn't do it.  I told her about the challenge and she was totally cool with it.

*I almost blew it by buying a song on Amazon to download to my iPod.  I was THIS close to clicking on that "buy" button.  And then it hit me......$1.29 is still spending.  And it adds up people.  I was so amazed at the clarity that I had.....and how easy it was to just "click buy" and not think.  But this time I did think.....and I'll wait......even though I wanted that damn song so badly.  ::insert more rocking::

Damn......this shit is HARD!!!!

*Was totally blessed today when a good friend brought me my first pumpkin spice latte of the season......before they're even out to the general public!  I was holding out because I'd have to use what precious balance was left on my Starbucks card.....so I was being very strategic about using it.  But the heaven's opened and my friend totally made my day!

Not a bad way to end the week, don't you think?

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Saving & Giving Challenge - Days #1 and #2

September has arrived and with it, the beginning of my Saving and Giving Challenge. 

The night before it started, I prayed long and hard about this challenge. God put this on my heart for a reason and I prayed to be open to the lessons that He is wanting to teach me and the blessings that He will show me over the next 30 days. I prayed that He would show me where to give the things I'm giving away and that He would walk with me when temptation comes my way and tries to nudge me off the path of this challenge.

 If you are doing this challenge too, I pray that God walks beside you as you go through your 30 days. That He gives you wisdom and clarity when challenged and peace when the answer comes. Let's do this together!


Day #1:
Started off the day by deleting all the coupon apps from my phone. Goodbye Joann's. Goodbye Michaels. Goodbye Hobby Lobby. I didn't delete Starbucks because I still have a balance on my card which I will use with discretion. I did try to cancel the auto reload, but kept getting an error message. Maybe that's just God's way of saying "I know it's Pumpkin Spice Latte season and I got your back." Maybe?

All the shopping flyers I got in the mail went straight into recycling....not even a second glance.

Dinnertime was hard.  It was a L....O.....N.....G day for me as I volunteered in the school all day and then assist with choir rehearsals after school.  We're getting home around 5:30-ish.  Normally, I would have just said screw it and go through the drive-through.  Not today though -- and it just about killed me.....because I was just too tired to cook.  So, I have declared choir Tuesdays as "Sandwich Dinner Night"......AKA "Kids....you're on your own.  There's the bread....have at it."

Amazing, though....how much I crave a McAlister's club sandwich when I know I can't buy one.


Day #2:
My original plan was to start purging my closet and dresser drawers today.  But in true, "My Marine Is Gone And I Turn Into A Major Lazy Ass" fashion, my house is a pit.  If I put another random thing on my kitchen table it will be lost forever......and the kids are using Wetwipes in lieu of showers and baths because I need to wash bathroom towels.  I decided that I had to change plans and work on my kitchen instead.....this was a duel-purpose mission....both cleaning AND decluttering/purging.

I reluctantly cancelled a coffee date with a friend.  I so enjoy my coffee time with my friend, so for me to cancel proved this was a serious situation.  I texted my friend to explain....and she, being a fellow military spouse, totally got it and agreed to reschedule.  So, I sent the kids off to school....put on workout clothes, made another cup of coffee, cranked up the worship music and dove in.

I spent 6 hours in my kitchen today.  I played the "But I could...." and "What if...." game as I took things out of the cabinet and debated.....keep it, toss it, donate it, or bless a friend.   I purged old dish towels and banished them to the rag bin.  I got rid of mismatched wine glasses, odd-numbered napkins, and 7.....SEVEN....muffin tins. We're a family of FOUR for heaven's sake.....not the Duggars! Why did I have 7 muffin tins?  I recycled cookie sheets that looked like they were at ground zero for the first A-Bomb testing.

I went through a basket of recipes that I had been saving to try during my monthly "try at least five new recipes a month" phase.  I tossed old coupons, sales flyers, magazines I'd been saving to read during my "free time".

The recycling people are going to love me on Friday.

But when all was said and done -- I pulled out newly matched fall kitchen towels, lit my pumpkin-scented candles and looked at my uncluttered kitchen table and looked forward to when my babies came home from school. We will now have a place to gather for an after-school snack and talk about the day.....a place to work on homework.....and to enjoy a family dinner. Uncluttered and very, very peaceful......

At least until My Marine leaves again........

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Spending Less, Loving More - The September Saving & Giving Challenge

I know it's been MONTHS since I posted here....and I'll be honest....the past few months have been a rollercoaster of ups & downs. I have not given up on my journey or my goals....but I'll be honest and admit that I haven't been as diligent as I should have been. As the holiday season quickly approaches once again, it's time to brush myself off, dig deeper and get myself back on track.

Recently I started reading "7:  An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess" by Jen Hatmaker. 

If you've read it, you may know how incredibly life-changing it could be.  If you haven't, in a nutshell, 7 is the true story of how Jen and her family identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against of greed, materialism, and overindulgence.  Their categories included food. clothes. spending. media. possessions. waste. and stress. They would spend thirty days on each topic, and only eat seven foods, wear seven articles of clothing, and spend money in seven places. Eliminate use of seven media types, give away seven things each day for one month, adopt seven green habits, and observe “seven sacred pauses.”

It was amazing!  I highly recommend it!

After reading it, I felt so incredibly pulled, deep in my soul, to conduct my own version of "7".  So for the month of September, I'm doing a "Saving & Giving Challenge".

For the "Saving" part, I will:
*  Stick to the "want" vs. "need" plan
*  Refrain from shopping craft stores, bookstores, clothing stores
*  Shop the pantry and freezer.  I will be allowed to purchase fresh fruits & vegetables, milk, bread and other "perishable" items
*  Any sales from my Etsy store goes immediately into the savings account....as does any of My Marines extra pay


For the "Giving" part:
*  The main thing will be to declutter our home and donate everything.  Normally I would save hoard everything and then try to sell it all on online garage sale sites and save the money for Christmas.  This Christmas, I am challenging myself to cut down on the QUANTITY of gifts, in favor of QUALITY of gifts.  And that will mean trusting on God to provide if that is the right gift meant for my family.  And so by trusting more on God to provide, I'm giving away everything I would have held back to sell.
*  Go through our family's closets and if the items haven't been worn within the last 6 months, then it gets donated
*  Have the girls go through their toys and books
*  I will sort through my craft supplies and books and donate

My plan will be to do a weekly update here on how my progress is going.  I hope you'll continue to come back and see how it's going!  You can also check in on my Facebook page - Spending Less, Loving More - for more real time updates that may not get posted here.

I also invite you to join me in September and do your own spending and giving challenge.  Whatever that looks like for you, but challenge yourself, just a little bit.

Will you join me?

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Spending Less, Loving More - Spending Fast: Week 1

 

 

Lent started this week.  I shared on my Spending Less, Loving More FB page that in the past, I've given up a number of things....chocolate, alcohol, Starbucks. But this year, I'll be challenging myself to take it even further and fast from unnecessary spending. While I believe this will be one of the hardest things I've ever done, I believe that it will also challenge me to be more intentional and thoughtful about my spending and budgeting. I've created a wants/needs list which will help me along the way. Some things already cut out -- Starbuck, book stores, craft stores, thrift stores.  I will be doing a weekly blog post updating how I did during the week. 

 

So.....here's Week #1!

 

 

Monday - 2/16:

Both My Marine and my girls were home today for President's Day.  We had some snow move in, so we didn't go anywhere......which worked to our benefit since we were thinking about taking the girls to a movie today.  In the end, we stayed home, got caught up with some DVR'd shows and watched movies with the girls. 

Tuesday - 2/17:
My Marine went back to work today, but the girls were still home because of an in-service day.  I used .99 cents from Amazon gift card to purchase a Lenten devotional on my Kindle.  Did some decluttering of my "unmentionables" drawer.  Nani got into trouble over the weekend for not doing her laundry, so her consequence was trifold....the clothes that were not finished were either 1) given to her sister; 2) given to the homeless shelter or 3) she had to select a few things she wanted to keep and had to earn them back doing extra chores.  This consequence made me both pretty angry and sad.  All that money that I wasted buying clothes for the girls -- stuff they really just didn't take care of and didn't care about.  They had too much.  My fault for indulging them.....with things.

Wednesday - 2/18:
Tomorrow is payday.  Checked my personal bank account and was happy to realize that for two pay periods in a row, I've been in the black.  For me, that's pretty good.  (Sad, I know!)  Checked our household account to make sure bills have cleared and see what's left.  Checked the calendar to see what bills were coming up and if I could make a little extra payments towards our debt.  Made a meal plan for the next two weeks and made my grocery list based on that and what was on the "we need" list.  Went through coupons and resisted adding extras just because I had a coupon.

Thursday - 2/19:
Payday always makes me twitchy.  The unfiltered side of my brain screams, "There's money!  There's money!  Let's go shopping!"  But this morning, instead, I grabbed my homebrewed coffee, my grocery binder with my list and coupons....and ran my errands.  I got all my grocery shopping done without throwing any extras in the cart.  Amazing!  What was even more amazing was how much less my grocery bill was without all those impulse buys!  Another amazing thing.....I had to go into JoAnn Fabric to get supplies for Nani's upcoming sewing class.  This was a planned expense that I knew was coming....BUT....I went into the store and came back out WITH ONLY WHAT I NEEDED!  No browsing, no impulse buys while waiting in the checkout line.  I needed only fabric and thread....and I came out with only fabric and thread!

Friday - 2/20:
Paid off 2 bills and paid monthly bills.  Marked upcoming bills in the checkbook.  I'm finding that if I deduct the upcoming bills already, when I see the end balance, it's less of a temptation to shop.  My Marine's extra military pay went directly into our joint savings account.  Proud of myself for seeing that cushion start to build up again.

Saturday - 2/21
No spending today at all.  Spent the morning running the girls to ballet and gymnastics and then stayed home waiting for the big snowstorm to come.

Sunday - 2/22
Big snowstorm hit overnight.  Had a foot of snow by morning.  No church today.  Nani's sewing class was cancelled -- to be rescheduled at another time.  No spending at all today.  Spent the day enjoying the snow!

Not bad for Week 1!!

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Spending Less, Loving More - The Cycle

In my compulsive spending mind, I think more about how I could spend my money and what I could spend it on, rather than do the responsible thing like, oh....I don't know....pay bills.

It's always the same story.  It's a vicious cycle.

Each pay period I tell myself that I will be responsible. I will track what I spend. I will not do any unnecessary shopping - which means staying out of the craft stores, book stores, clothing stores. Basically anywhere which requires me to pull out cash or my debit card. (I no longer have any credit cards - period.) But the debit card is just as bad. It's like using a credit card, but it's only using the cash you have on hand -- which is usually already earmarked for responsible things -- car payment, insurance, mortgage, etc.

But inevitably, the temptation kicks in and the urge grows so strong that it's literally hard to ignore that deep-seated need. And then the cycle begins. The mad dash to shop -- to buy things that I just don't need - all because I want it. I have to have it, although I don't know why. The euphoria of finding good deals. Of finding something I really like and instead of buying just one - I buy one of every basic color. At craft stores I'll buy supplies, telling myself all the while that it's a project that I'll get to. When in reality I've got LOTS of projects I'll "get to" sitting in my garage, my laundry room, on my living room floor.

But then there's the other side. The downside once the binge is over. The buyer's remorse that sets in. The guilt that eats me up inside. The negative self-talk that I go through over and over and over. And it's always the same.

"You're so stupid. How could you do that again"

"You just have no self-control."

"You're useless and worthless. If you can't control this, then no wonder your life is so screwed up."

"You're such a disappointment to everyone."

And then once I finish that conversation, I just tell myself that I'll "make it right" by taking some stuff back. Completing the cycle. At least until it starts all over again.

So we have -- the urge, the act, the euphoria, the remorse, the guilt, the self-hatred, the return (act of contrition).

In the midst of all this, I would try to hide my spending. Trying to stay one step ahead. Trying to detour my husband from wanting to spend money -- usually on stuff for the house. I'd get angry when he'd want to spend money on a 6-pack or go to Happy Hour. I recognize that as displaced anger. Anger towards him, when I'm internally angry with myself.

In Debtors Anonymous, we are taught to immediately start tracking our spending and to take it one day at a time. In my case, it has to be one hour at a time. We are also encouraged to be held accountable - which is where this blog and FB page comes in.

By writing and sharing, I am holding myself accountable. And just for today, I will take it one hour at a time.

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Spending Less, Loving More - In The Beginning

 

In the beginning.....

I'm not quite sure I can pinpoint exactly when my issues with money started. It's been with me for that long.

I suppose it could have started when I was a kid -- middle school even. My dad worked for U.S. Steel - a great job pre-"closing-all-the-steel-mill" days. My mom worked part time for the rental office in the complex where we lived. Looking back now, I never really wanted for anything. There was always a home-cooked meal, gifts for birthdays and Christmas, clothes to wear. We never really took a family vacation until I was in 4th grade. We didn't need to -- there were big public pools that we would go to every summer with my mom, aunt and cousin. There was an amusement park 10 minutes from my house. There was so much to do. It was a simple lifestyle that I long for now.

When the steel mills started closing my dad got laid off. I remember him telling me about it one day when I came home from school - and I just remember hugging him. I remember going with him to get his unemployment checks and going to sign up for classes. I'd go with him to the Community College on Saturday mornings and watch while he'd do homework in the computer lab - or else I'd just wander the halls reading all the campus fliers dreaming about college opportunities for me. But there were subtle changes in our home. Even though the gifts were fewer at time, I still continued dance lessons and other music lessons. If my parents felt the financial strain - I never knew it.

The big change for me came when the clothes started coming. Trash bags full of hand-me-down clothes from cousins and friends who were 5+ years older than me. Clothes that were incredibly dated. But instead of being grateful, I was bitter. I remember one day going to school when it was so cold out. I was wearing a hand-me-down coat -- God awful wool plaid. I vividly remember some of the "mean girls" saying things like "nice coat, where can I get one?" and being so horribly embarrassed that I never wore that coat again. I would take it off the minute I rounded the corner from my house and walk in the cold all so I didn't have to face the ridicule.

Then daddy got another job.  Through his new training, he was hired by a downtown department store -- Kaufmann's (which is now Macy's). He'd be repairing cash registers and other equipment. At the time, Kaufmann's was a high-end department store - one that I longed to shop at. And along with daddy's new job came the coveted employee discount. That year for my birthday, I was allowed to shop downtown and pick anything I wanted. I was in heaven! I remember picking a very soft, Christmas white sweater dress and grey suede boots. I cherished those items and wore them until they both fell apart.

When I graduated college, I started working downtown too. Daddy and I would commute together - stopping for coffee and donuts before getting to work. We'd listen to the local morning show and laugh at all the skits. It was then that I found out how much my daddy hated that job -- but he kept going and kept working -- for us.

It was probably my first real lesson -- and I just didn't see it at the time. Because at the time, I was basking in making my own money and using all those credit cards that I had opened over the past year or so.

Little did I know at the time that it was just the beginning of my downfall.

(To Be Continued.......)

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Frugal Gift Giving......You Don't Have To Break The Bank! (Part I)

One thing I've always prided myself on was the fact that I love to come up with creative gifts.  I really try hard to find unique gifts....and often times end up making the gift myself.  I love trying to find good deals!

If you think about it, you really can come up with some fun and creative gift ideas without breaking the bank!  Over the next few months, I'll be sharing some of my tips and ideas for creating and giving amazing (and FRUGAL gifts!)  Here's a few that I did for Christmas!


Christmas Cookie Basket:
I wanted to give something fun and creative to my friends.  So I came up with the idea of a cookie basket!

At Hobby Lobby I picked up the small basket and the Christmas tree spatula (on sale).  I, then, bought the cookie mix and icing at the Commissary (much cheaper than the regular grocery store!).  The cookie cutters and basket wrap were from The Dollar Tree.  I also wanted to add a little something extra, so I picked up some clear glass plates at the thrift store for .75/each and handpainted them with the words "Christmas Treats"

Total for each basket - approximate $6!

Hot Chocolate Basket
For another friend, I made a hot chocolate basket.

I picked up the basket at Michaels for 70% off.  I found the mugs and snowman jar at the thrift store.  I already had the chalk adhesive and I bought the hot chocolate and peppermint sticks at The Dollar Tree.  (You can also add mini bottles of Bailey's or Kahlua and a bag of marshmallows too!)

Total for this basket = $5


Grandparents Plate

This, by far, was my favorite Christmas gift to make this year.  We always have a hard time coming up with gifts for the grandparents.  But I came up with this idea for my MIL.

 The plate is for decorative purposes only, but if you needed to wash it, I would recommend handwashing.

I picked up the plate at the thrift store for $1.50.  (Do you see a theme here?)  I had my girls write their names on the plate with Sharpie.  I asked my BIL to have my niece and nephew write their names which he emailed me and I traced them on to the plate.  I then hand-drew the flowers and the kids in the center.  I baked the plate in the oven to set the Sharpie.  It was a HIT!


As you can see -- easy, meaningful and CHEAP!  What are some of YOUR frugal gift-giving ideas!  Please comment below!  I'm always looking for new ideas -- AND may feature your idea in my next blog post!

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Resetting the Spending Clock

On Monday, I had to reset my "spending" clock.  On Saturday and Sunday, I shopped in Barnes & Noble, Michaels, & JoAnn Fabrics.

Over the weekend, I decided to add a new item to my Etsy Store - Sputzy's Stitches and Stuff.  I made a couple samples at home using what I had on hand, but knew that if I wanted to make marketable items, I would have to get a few supplies.  So, on Saturday, after dropping off Nani at a sleepover, I went to Michaels and JoAnn's.  It was a 50/50 purchase -- meaning that I did NEED one of the items, but I WANTED the others.  I could have easily used the fabric I had to get started...no need to buy more.  But I did.  And guess what -- I still ended up using the fabric I had on hand and the fabric I bought is still sitting in the bag.

Then on Sunday, I bought a book at Barnes and Noble.  I didn't need it.  I have other books I need to read first.  I actually went into the bookstore to buy a book that was referenced during the sermon at church that morning.....but the pull was too strong.  Fortunately, I kept the receipt and plan on returning the book later this week.

But that's not the point.

The point is that I justified all those purchases - I didn't have a bad day, I didn't have a fight with My Marine, I wasn't stressed or anxious, I wasn't having a "trigger moment".......I just told myself that I've been doing so good, I told myself that my bills were paid, I had some extra money and darn it, I was doing so good, I deserved a reward.  And that reward was shopping.

In the moment I didn't realize or remember that:

1)  I had worked hard and resisted impulse buys for 23 days prior to this.  I KNOW I can do it because I was doing it.
2)  The true reward was awareness.  I actually used my checkbook and kept track of bills, expenses, savings.  I was AWARE of my money.

But that didn't matter.  Those thoughts were not there.  Unplanned spending. Stuff I didn't need.  Why? I don't know. Aside from the purchase at Michaels, I didn't need any of it.  The new book is sitting on the ever-growing pile of "to read" books that I've been hoarding buying for as long as I can remember.  The new fabric is sitting in a box with all the other fabric that I've been  hoarding buying forever too.

Funny thing is - just a few days earlier, I had gone through my Clutter Free challenge and made piles of  books and craft supplies that I was going to get rid off/give away/sell/consign.   Let me go over that again.....I just got RID of stuff and then a few days later added MORE to my stash. What kind of insanity is that?

It's the insanity of compulsive spending.  That's the cycle.  And one day.....ONE DAY, I will BREAK that cycle.

In the meantime, I hit reset and start over.

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