It's Furlough Season Everyone!

>> Saturday, September 26, 2015

Ah yes.....October 1st is quickly approaching.....and it's the most wonderful time of the year!  It's Furlough Season everyone!!

For those out there who aren't familiar with this JOYOUS celebration, let me share with you!  Furlough Season is where all government employees around the country join hands in anticipation of the arrival of the Furlough Fairy. 

The Furlough Fairy flies throughout the country on Furlough Eve (which is September 30th) spreading the shredded remains of the previous year's government budget.  As these sparkles of joy fall from the sky, governments across the land shut down, paychecks magically stop coming and thousands of government employees are granted extended vacations. 

First time celebrating Furlough Season?  Here are some tips that my family has used throughout the years. 

*  Here in our home, the kids and I decorate our little Furlough tree with the hundreds of coupons for $1 off SPAM and BOGO beef jerky.  In the spirit of Furlough Season, we don't use our twinkle lights because it takes away from the bleakness that we try to embrace as a family.

*  About a week before Furlough Day, I change my ringtone to ACDC's "Money Talks" just for my creditors.  (Creditors are people too and they especially love this time of year more than we do, I think!)

*  Most government recreational parks and attractions are closed during this time, so the kids and I really take advantage of this time to enjoy our local park bench in front of Wal-Mart while Daddy is inside filling out an application at the job kiosk.  Sometimes we let the kids go too so that they can experience the wonders of a paperless job application process.  (It's all about teaching them life skills people!)

*  Be sure to check your mailboxes for my annual "Woo Hoo! The Government's Broke!" greeting card/family letter where I share articles like "How to Dodge the Repo Man in Two Easy Steps", "How To Make Homemade Cough Syrup With Just a Bottle of Tequila and Food Coloring".  I also have a recipe section where I share with you tips on how to feed a family of 4 + one dog with one can of tuna and french fries found in your car.

*  And don't forget to Google "Homemade Xanax"!  I know there are a lot of affordable homeopathic remedies out there.  (My favorite is mixing a tablespoon of Nyquil with a shot of gin)
But seriously......all kidding aside.  I seriously wish, along with millions of other Americans, that Congress would get their shit together.  Every year, government employees go through this stress all because a group of selfish, inconsiderate assholes in suits can't agree like adults.  They are willing to put thousands of families and their livelihood at risk because no one is willing to concede or budge.  It's my way or I'll take my ball and go home -- in this case, let's shut the government down until we get our way. 
While my husband sits at home without a paycheck, those jackasses sit on their asses in D.C. STILL collecting a paycheck, driving expensive cars and eating lunches that cost more than my monthly grocery budget.  Enough already.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to start my dinner preparations.  Tonight we're having oatmeal shaped in the form of meatloaf.

Happy Furlough Season to all......and to all, a good night.........



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