It's Going Too Fast!
>> Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Last night I was looking for Nani's school calendar so that I could remember when she was on spring break. As I was looking at the calendar, it hit me. The school year is almost over and in just a few short months, my baby girl will be finishing Kindergarten.
Next school year, she's gone ALL - DAY - LONG........
I cried.
I miss her already and she hasn't even started the new school year.
My heart aches for the baby she's left behind. My heart rejoices for the girl that she is becoming.
I will miss having lunch with her at the table as she tells me about her day -- in that long, roundabout way that kids do. I will miss snuggling with her at "Quiet Time", reading books, coloring, or giggling over The Muppets.
I dread having just a few short hours with her between the time she gets home from school and when she has to go to bed.
It's not enough.
It's going too fast.
My arms ache to hold her and rock her like when she was a baby. My hands yearn to hold on with every bit of strength I have and prevent her from growing up. I want to close my eyes and not see her change in front of my very eyes.
I don't want to think about the day that will come when she tosses aside the baby doll forever. I don't want to think about the day when she doesn't want to do a craft with me any more. I don't want to think about the day when the magic of childhood gets pushed to the back and Santa Claus becomes someone that kids laugh at.
But on the other hand.......
My arms know that one day I will hug her one last time before she goes off on her own. My hands will touch her cheeks as I hold her face, remembering the little girl she was. And my eyes will be open to see the woman that she has become.
I can only hope and pray that I'm doing all that I can to lay the groundwork for her. That I can let go a little at a time and allow her to make her choices and make her mistakes.
And that she'll know -- no matter what -- that mommy will always be there for her.
But for now, I'll cherish every single moment I have with her now....
Because it's going just way too fast........
