Not Me! Monday

>> Monday, July 6, 2009

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I really have only one "Not Me" to share this week -- but believe me -- it's a doozy! There's a little backstory here....

A few months ago, a friend of mine invited me to one of those infamous ladies-only parties. I really didn't want to go, but I thought -- ok, it's time to add the "Va" back in the "Va-Voom" - so I went.

It was one of those typical parties -- lots of sweet snacks, too much wine, lots of giggling, and the discreet ordering system. I love how the hostess of the party has everything set up in a back room of her home - usually a guest bedroom or home office. This particular discreet ordering room consisted of eyelet bedspreads, lace curtains, and religious artifacts spread throughout the room. Nothing screams virginal and chastity more than the Sacred Heart of Jesus looking down on you as you decide between the strawberry- or mint-flavored love balm.

In the end, I gave in to the temptation and purchased a small jar of "Love Chocolate" and a few other choice marital aids. I got home that night and put my goodies away - waiting for the right evening. Fast forward three months later.....we've had sick kids, sick dogs, weeks of late nights of working, vacation, and many other life bumps that put a major kink into planning an evening of romance. The marital aids are still wrapped and unused.....until late Thursday night.....

I had a major craving for something sweet - and the healthy fruit snacks just weren't cutting it. In my desperate attempt for a chocolate fix, I did not remember that I had purchased a martial aid of the chocolate pursuasion. I did not search the house, trying to remember where I stashed that small jar of "Love Chocolate". Once found, in the kitchen cabinet where I keep my baking supplies, I did not scoop out a spoonful, scarf it down, and then figure that all's lost anyway - and pour the rest of the jar over the healthy fruit snack that I piled into a small cereal bowl. (It was a small jar....)

Once consumed, I did not rinse out the jar and hide it in the bottom of the recycling bin so that my Marine wouldn't think 1) that I was having an affair or 2) that nothing, absolutely, nothing can come between me and a chocolate fix!

(Hanging my head in shame while licking the last drops of chocolate from my spoon......)

And don't forget about the scrapbooking giveaway that I'm doing! You can enter up until July 10th - at which time a lucky winner will be chosen to receive a box of scrapbooking supplies! All you need to do is go to my previous post about scrapbooking and leave a comment. That's it!


arminda July 6, 2009 at 8:49 AM  

I have never laughed so hard and so loud from reading a blog post!!! :) hahahaha Oh my gosh, I have nothing else to say!!

LucieP July 6, 2009 at 9:40 AM  




First need to get some more for you and your marine!

Second...chocolate is so dangerous, isn't it?!
I have never had to hide things in the garbage that I didn't eat...ever.

The Queen of Chaos July 6, 2009 at 3:27 PM  

Oh. My. GOSH that is hilarious!! I seriously am going to send people to read this specific blog post because I know they are going to laugh their as*es off as much as I am!! ROFLMAO!!!

Cr8vlips July 6, 2009 at 7:42 PM  

ROFLMAO!!! It's a shame that you didn't get to share that chocolate with your Marine.

The Queen of Chaos's Old Marine
Semper Fi!

Shelly July 6, 2009 at 8:52 PM  

Nothing comes between me & a chocolate fix either. LOL. Thanks for dropping by my blog!

melaniet42 July 6, 2009 at 9:15 PM  

That is a hysterical Not Me story - I love it! You had me LOLing for real! Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. Funny you should mention the Nerds, since I'm sitting here munching away on them right now!

Kathy B. July 6, 2009 at 9:20 PM  

That was a GOOD Not me, Monday post! Thanks for sharing!

Lynnette July 6, 2009 at 10:54 PM  

Your post had me giggling!! Yes when you want chocolate you want it NOW!! Thanks for stopping by my blog!!

Lynnette July 6, 2009 at 10:58 PM  

Oh and I meant to say in my comment that your girls are adorable!!

Chaukie July 7, 2009 at 5:54 AM  

That is hysterical! Great NMM!

shelley. July 7, 2009 at 6:24 AM  

This may be the most NMM worthy thing I've ever read! Still smiling.

p.s. Love the name of your blog.

Jeri July 7, 2009 at 8:04 AM  

Hey...this doesn't look like a hard-rocking music lover blog! It's sweet. You rock out? Nuh, unh! Thanks for stopping by our Beautiful Mess. It was fun to dig around in The Toy Box. ;) AND hey...when a girl needs chocolate, she needs chocolate. I posted a NMM a while back that had to do with my cell phone being on vibrate and surprising me when someone called. You can embarrassing.
Have a great day!

amanda July 7, 2009 at 8:33 AM  

by far the best not me i have ever read! hilarious.

Olive Rue July 7, 2009 at 1:10 PM  

Loved your confessions. Thanks for stopping by yesterday.

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