Filing Eviction Papers.......

>> Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Sickness -

I am writing to formally evict you from our home and bodies. You have overstayed your welcome and we've had enough.

It was bad enough that you moved in in October and stuck around for 8 weeks. Eight weeks of your hacking, coughing, wheezing, dripping, sniffling and gagging. But then you had to invite your family over and introduce them as playmates to my children. Do you realize how much I hate snotty-nosed kids? I will take a diaper blow out or being vomited on any day -- but I HATE, HATE, HATE the snotty, drippy-nosed kids.

Oh, you did give us a little break there. A small reprieve where we actually thought that you packed up and left.

But no -- last week you came back to invade different body parts. I guess you got the message about the snotty noses because this time you struck with a vengence in the lower quandrants. I was beginning to wish for the days of the snotty noses. It's no fun being home alone with two kids who are alternating vomiting and well....I just won't go there.... It's even worse when your husband is out of town, calling each night to tell you that he's on his way to the bar, yet again, for wing night and wet tshirt contests.

(Hey buddy - I have news for you. I've got a wet tshirt contest here too -- but it's not the kind that you've been seeing. And the liquid that's been covering me also included chunks of banana or crackers. Sexy enough for you mister? Huh??)

But this morning was the last straw. I get up, get showered and dressed ready for my morning MOPS meeting -- when lo & behold, I hear the all-too familiar rough & scratchy-voiced "Moooommmmmyyyyyy".

Sigh......

Turns out that you think my oldest is an easy target and decided to try something new -- a sore throat. Followed by some gagging and some more vomiting.

Thank you so very much for depriving me of a morning of Starbucks and fellowship with my MOPS mommies.

You may have thought you had us beat with this round...but I believe we thwarted you. You've given me an opportunity to love & nuture my little sickie and stay in jammies all day, sip tea, and snuggle under blankets while watching Sesame Street and Little Einstein all day long. You've given me the opportunity to sit in the rocking chair and rock my baby once again -- an opportunity that doesn't come often now.

But while I cherish these moments (in between bouts of cleaning out the little trash can Nani's been dragging around)...I'm asking you to please, please, leave the rest of us alone.

And I'm still evicting you.....

Thank you very much -

A mommy who is now on a first-name basis with the pharmacist......

9 comments:

Missy January 15, 2010 at 12:36 PM  

Uck. Sounds like you've been having a rough time. Hope it gets better soon!

Alix January 15, 2010 at 2:15 PM  

Oh! Eviction notices are my favorite!

amanda January 16, 2010 at 7:45 AM  

even though it stinks your fam is sick...you have a cute way of telling it to get the heck out!

Too Many Hats January 16, 2010 at 11:32 AM  

HUGS - I sure hope the eviction notice works.

Jennifer Haas January 16, 2010 at 5:31 PM  

I am so sorry!!!! My kids have been sick this week too. But, thankfully they have not been sick the past few months.

Helene January 16, 2010 at 8:42 PM  

Oh no!!! I can understand why you're so frustrated. We've been dealing with illness over here as well!

Hope you all feel better soon!

Buckeroomama January 19, 2010 at 4:42 AM  

Hope y'all get better soon. I hate it when anybody is sick in the house. It inevitably gets passed from one to the next...

Anonymous February 18, 2010 at 6:45 AM  
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Anonymous February 19, 2010 at 6:55 PM  
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