Brutal Honesty About Motherhood -- The Rebuttal

>> Friday, April 23, 2010

This morning I was supposed to continue my series on Momnesia.  But I felt that I needed to thank everyone who responded to my post about my really bad day on Tuesday.  Those who reponded to my post and emailed me privately -- THANK YOU!!  You made this guilt-ridden mommy feel 100% better knowing that I wasn't alone!

I also wanted to share something with you all too.  The morning after my post about my motherhood breakdown, I got the following email from my daddy.  It was just too good not to share -- and put a whole new perspective on everything!


Is that all?

I thought someone was sick or something happened when I saw the time of the post.  Just remember you're not perfect.  No one is.  Even Jesus got angry in the temple and started kicking butt.  I'll bet Mother Theresa wanted to kick A** a few times and they want to make her a saint.   I know you want to be the perfect mother, but she doesn't exist, only on TV or in the movies. You will be tested again many times, but you learn a little bit more each time.  That's what motherhood is - a continuous learning process that lasts till Dani and Nadija leave home on their own.  Hopefully to start their own learning curves.

One more thing,  it's part of a child's growing up process to test their parents to see what is tolerated and what is not. That's where you then become the teacher, like training your pets (Mitzi and Zoya excluded).  They have to learn from you too.

While typing this reply, I couldn't help but remember the arguments you and your mother had over those "turnip jeans" you wanted to wear to school.  Hopefully Dani has learned not to push THAT button again and moves on to the next "try this button" in her notebook of growing up.

Relax, you're a good mother, wife and daughter most of the time. All will be forgotten the next time Dani hugs you and says "Thanks Mom".  Relax - go get a double at Starbucks aad have Robin make you a gooey chocolate cake - she is a real good friend.   Take an extra trip to your Happy Place, talk to Cuddles and Mitzi.

Enough I'm late for Breakfast.

Luv Ya 

PS - Remember a rubber hose doesn't leave any marks.


Have I mentioned how much I love my daddy??

And to let you all in on the "inside jokes":

** The turnip pants were a God-awful pair of stretch jeans that I absolutely LOVED throughout high-school.  Looking back on them now -- they were the epitome of a fashion DON'T.  But I loved them and I wore them over and over -- partly because my mother didn't want me to wear them.  The consummate battle of the wills.

** The reference to Cuddles and Mitzi.  The "Mitzi" here is not my dog  -- but my very first teddy bear that I've had since I was a baby (but our dog IS named after her).  She is now wrapped up in plastic and her stuffing has turned to sawdust.  Cuddles is another fat, pudgy bear that I adored -- and still have as well.  Growing up, my daddy and I bonded over those teddy bears.  He would make them talk for me -- and we'd carry on conversations through the bears.  We did that up until I moved out on my own.....and they haven't talked to me since.  But they are extremely good listeners! 

Just like my daddy!


Dina April 23, 2010 at 7:34 AM  

so nice! I wish I had a daddy like that.

Menopausal New Mom April 23, 2010 at 7:37 AM  

What a great dad, you are so lucky!

Allison R April 23, 2010 at 8:12 AM  

What an awesome dad! Great letter. Even made me feel better about my parenting :) I'm visiting from New Friend Friday at The Girl Creative.

One Savvy Mom! April 23, 2010 at 8:31 AM  

What an amazing daddy you have! Your very blessed! :-)
Hi :-)
Following from the Friday Follow! You can follow me back at New Reviews/Giveaways post daily!
Have a great weekend!

Helene April 23, 2010 at 9:11 AM  

That was so sweet of your dad to take the time to personally e-mail you his thoughts on the subject.

Will he adopt me? I love your dad.

Debbie April 23, 2010 at 10:08 AM  

Your dad is so sweet!

Happy Friday Follow. Now following you.

Gen April 23, 2010 at 10:18 AM  

what a wonderful dad you have...

Suzanne April 23, 2010 at 10:40 AM  

That was a really nice comment from your dad! How cool that he visits your blog. Glad you got encouragement about your not-so-great mommy day!:)

Amber April 23, 2010 at 12:00 PM  

What a great letter from your dad. I'll try to remember that as my little screamer grows up. Great blog. Thanks for visiting my site, I'm a new follower.

~Amber @ The Mom Road

taaurus April 23, 2010 at 12:39 PM  

Hey there ~ I'm visiting from New Friend Friday at The Girl Creative ~ I'm following your blog now ~ have a great weekend! Em.

Aging Mommy April 23, 2010 at 12:59 PM  

Your Dad is right - you are a great Mom because you reacted as you did to what happened the other day. Also, how could you fail to be a good Mom with a wonderful, thoughtful oh so wise Dad as you have? Lucky you. What a wonderful tribute to you his words are.

I think your Dad should do some guest appearances on this site, he is a great writer!

Heavenly Savings April 23, 2010 at 1:06 PM  

Neat post!!! I’m a new follower! Feel free to check out my blog as well!
Happy Friday Follow! Hope to Blog with you again soon!

Jennifer M April 23, 2010 at 2:55 PM  

Your dad is a great supporter.
Happy Friday Follow.

Lilli April 23, 2010 at 4:32 PM  

Hi, I'm visiting from New Friend Friday... glad I found your blog. I'm a new follower and would be honored if you visited my blog and choose to follow also.

Mary Beth @ Live. Laugh. Make Something April 23, 2010 at 6:18 PM  

great post! Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog! I'm returning your visit and am your newest follower!

Happy Gramma April 23, 2010 at 6:41 PM  

Your wise dad is right... there are no perfect moms. There is only one perfect father... our Heavenly Father. You hang in there and do the very best you can and PRAY a lot.
visit me @

友辰 April 23, 2010 at 7:48 PM  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Le Chateau des fleurs April 23, 2010 at 9:37 PM  

WOW, you have a great Dad lucky :)
Being a Mom is tough :) But worth it :)
I have a lot of friends in the military.
I am following your blog, come follow me back :)
A plus

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend April 24, 2010 at 3:48 PM  

What a great blog....
Had a few hours to blog hop glad that I stopped here....Be sure and stop by and read about a miracle in our family....

jewelknits April 24, 2010 at 4:29 PM  

What a cool dad! I especially like the "a rubber hose doesn't leave marks" comment at the very end of all the serendipity! You are a fortunate one to have such a great family!

Sarah Lewis April 25, 2010 at 2:35 PM  

Great dad :) I have one of those too!

Following from Friday Follow. Stop by my place if you get a chance :)


H April 27, 2010 at 2:19 PM  

Your dad sounds great! It is so helpful when our parents encourage us that we're doing a good job as parents. I know I need that encouragement a lot!

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