Momnesia - Week 2: Sleep Deprivation

>> Thursday, April 8, 2010

Week 2 - Sleep Deprivation:  The Beginning


Your first baby - this is one of the hugest moments in your life.  You're euphoric, you're basking in motherhood, you're the happiest you've ever been.

We've all been there.  During our pregnancy and even those few hours after giving birth, we have our dreams and expectations.  We have visions of how we'll be the perfect mom - rocking our precious God-given gift as we gaze lovingly into her perfect little face....all the while maintaining a spotless house, cooking three meals a day, doing pediatrician-approved tummy-time activities, stimulating her little brain with parent-recommended toys, and researching the perfect preschool for your Little Einstein.

And then sleep deprivation slowly creeps in and you realize the "babymoon" is over and all those feelings you've been having are a result of the vicodin you've been taking since pushing a head the size of a watermelon out your hoo-hoo. (Or for some of us that had c-sections, being gulleted like a prize catfish at a fishing tournament).  And after walking the floor with your colicky baby for 9 hours straight while shushing into her ear so loudly that even Helen Keller would hear it, you wonder if you'd go to hell for wanting to exchange God's gift for something a little a blender. 


And if you can't get the blender, then you find yourself bargaining with God.

Dear God - if you'll just let Satan's Spawn our little angel sleep long enough for me to regenerate a few brain cells, I will:
  • Never go through a Starbucks again.  (Which you know is a lie because how do you think you're going to get through the day anyway?)
  • Give up my DVR.  (Even though the DVR is getting you through those sleep-deprived nights, you find that by watching late night infomercials you find that you really DO need a lifetime supply of Sham-Wows, the Pedipaws nail trimmer, and the Touch N Brush Hands Free Toothpaste Dispenser 
  • Give up listening to music.  (Because nothing is more musical than your child's cries at 3am)
  • Give up eating.  (Because you're just too tired to eat and lifting a fork takes too much effort)
  • Forgo all future Christmas, birthday, and anniversary gifts.  (Again, not a problem because with Momnesia you forget all those important dates anyway)
  • Do my wifely duty after my 6-week checkup and not tell my husband that the doctor recommends waiting another 6 months for me to "heal" (AKA - There's no way in hell you're touching me after I've squeezed your child through my loins!)
Stay tuned for next week's post -- Momnesia - Sleep Deprivation:  Do's and Don't's

Now excuse me while I go take a nap!


Valerie @ Frugal Family Fun Blog April 8, 2010 at 9:33 PM  

LOL Oh, yes, we have all been there! Looking forward to next week's post!

We live in a Zoo! April 8, 2010 at 9:39 PM  

See but heres the thing, if it were all as we imagine, what would we laugh about, what would we talk to the other Moms about so enjoyably, what would we blog about.... The world would be an empty place without the sleep deprivation stories! Lol!

Much More Than Mommy April 9, 2010 at 12:28 AM  

I've been looking forward to this! :-D You hit the nail on the head!

Joann Mannix April 9, 2010 at 1:08 AM  

Oh my goodness. I've been there and back, Jennifer, three times over. Your post was so fantastic, I could feel every ounce of your pain. I remember. And honey, I don't want a bit of it back. Know this. It gets easier.

We live around the corner from Disney World and we have, like most Floridians, season passes. Sometimes, we'll spend the night there and just have a leisurely weekend. I was talking to my sister on the phone, (her kids are 3 and 1) and I said, "The kids went over to the park and the husband and I stayed back at the hotel and had some wine."

And my sister said that one statement nearly blew her mind. The fact that I could take that part of my life for granted. I swear I was you yesterday. Now they range from 19-12. Your day is coming!

Joann Mannix April 9, 2010 at 1:10 AM  

Oh, and by the way. I love your blog design so much! The blog header is about one of the prettiest I have ever seen.

Aging Mommy April 9, 2010 at 6:40 AM  

Hi there - great post today! The pictures of the bright faced new parents in your pictures just makes me laugh - where are the deep bags under their eyes from already having suffered a couple of nights with no sleep? Why are the women not looking like train wrecks or like an overblown up water balloon after all the meds? Why do they look so happy and not absolutely terrified as I was, taking this tiny little person home for the first time and not having a clue what I was going to do when I got there? I so wanted to stay at the hospital for ever!

Shayna Mills April 9, 2010 at 7:23 AM  

Thank you for stopping by and following, now following you back and enjoying reading/browsing around your very cute blog!

Amy @ Positively Splendid April 9, 2010 at 8:51 AM  

This post gave me such a good chuckle! Having three children fewer than four years apart has made me all too familiar with this territory!

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog earlier. I'm your newest follower. :)

Sugar Bananas April 9, 2010 at 10:31 AM  

I love it, "Momnesia". I'm slowly moving out of that stage and actually getting some good (much needed sleep). 18 months? You're on your way!!! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'll be back - I'm now following :) Happy Friday to you!

Adrienne April 9, 2010 at 11:35 AM  

Here from FF thanks for following I am following back =)

Moriah April 9, 2010 at 12:11 PM  

Found you through MBC and now following your blog!

I am becoming a mother soon, and would love any advice other moms have who have already experienced what I am currently experiencing. I would love to hear from you! :)

Have a great Friday!

Heavenly Savings April 9, 2010 at 12:36 PM  

Cute Blog and cute blog name!!! I’m another new follower! Feel free to check out my blog as well!
Happy Friday Follow! Hope to Blog with you again soon!

Katie's Nesting Spot April 9, 2010 at 1:01 PM  

This is hysterical! I cracking up as I read it, so so so true!

WhisperingWriter April 9, 2010 at 5:01 PM  

I loved this.

Very true.

I love my sleep so going without it is not easy for me.

Rockin Momma April 9, 2010 at 9:47 PM  

Happy Friday! I'm your new follower! Visit me at and sign up for my newest giveaway!

Twee Poppets April 10, 2010 at 4:40 AM  

Stopping by from Follow Me Friday at Trendy Treehouse. I'm following you now! Hope you'll have a chance to follow me, too. :)

Great post!! Haha, "momnesia!"

Sara Cart April 20, 2010 at 9:19 AM  

Is it sad that I know excatly what you're talking about...:)

Mr Monkey July 2, 2010 at 4:00 PM  

Hi -I'm a new follower of you from FF.Please follow me back - thanks.
For every follower that joins I will be releasing a Unicorn back into the wilds of the New Jersey boardwalk. So please do your part by joining and saving these special creatures. Thanks
Mr. Monkey

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