Project Etsy Or AKA Project "Run-Away"

>> Wednesday, August 11, 2010

So, I'm browsing around Etsy....just trying to get some ideas for the store I eventually want to get up and running.  (Not doing so hot in that area just yet, but fall is coming and that's when I do my best crafting.  It's like hibernating for me!)  Anyway - I came across some spectacular treasures (insert sarcasm here) that I just couldn't keep to myself! 

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For those who feel like their morning stop at Starbucks is like going to war, prepare yourself with this chic little number.


Yes, folks.  You'll definitely get your venti, non-fat, triple shot, no foam caramel macchiatto toot-sweet while wearing this.  Yep.  This definitely commands top notch customer service.  What cracked me up more was the item description:

  • Willing to negotiate price  (Really?  What would you gather this to be worth? Certainly not the $9500 you're asking for)
  • Made to Order.  (Hmmm...I could have sworn I saw this in Target's back-to-school flyer last weekend)
  • Includes corset and arm pieces  (What's the point of having the 7-ft helmet if you don't have the coordinating corset and arm pieces!)
  • Not meant for dancing and such  (Crap!  I was going to get this to wear to my next rave....and I guess role-playing with My Marine is out too)
  • Take practice to walk when worn.  (Yes, you do want to make sure you duck when walking through the doorway or getting into elevators)
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Did the Twilight series give you such a fear of vampires that it left you bemoaning the fact that there is absolutely no neckware out there to protect you from renegade vampire bites??  Well, folks - fear no more!  To meet the heavy demand for protective neckware, I give you the studded, felted cowl neck scarf......



Ummm....yeah......  The creator of this lovely piece of couture (and I use the term lightly) claims that she was inspired by medieval chivalry.  I'm sorry, but last time I watched Excalibur, I don't recall Lancelot wearing a necktie of metal spikes.  (In the designer's defense, though, if you go to her page, she does have some cute scarves there that AREN'T covered in spikes)

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Looking for something to wear to your next Vlad the Impaler party?  How about this stunning studded duster coat.  The designer proudly boasts that this is made from recycled inner tubes.  As an added bonus, she kept the air valves intact - opting to tip them with chrome and skulls with red crystal eyes.  Also a direct quote from the item description - "There is good movement and sway to this piece that commands respect. Fiercely fun!"

Did you read that folks!  Movement and sway!!!  Fiercely fun!!!  And as a bonus, if your ears are itching, just tilt your head to the side and you've got a built-in ear scratcher!!!

Hark!  We're being invaded by chivalrous vampire-fearing knights wearing spiked neckties!


I seriously think the photographer was trying to cut off this guy's head in order to hide the "I'm going to kill you when I get outta this thing" smirk on his face.

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And for the ladies?  Here's a softer version of the medieval helmet from the "Knit Armor Collection".  Because ladies, you know how harsh metal can be on our hair follicles!


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And I've saved the best for last......mostly because I peed myself a little from laughing so damn hard!

Ladies - have you ever wondered what your man would look like with a little facial hair?  Men - do you get frustrated because it may take you forever to grow that beard that you want so badly?  Or would you like to see what your girlfriend would really look like if she didn't wax that slight facial hair on a regular basis?  Well, a solution has arrived......I present....the bearded stocking hat!


And if black isn't your color, the "beard" also comes in brown.  Sorry folks, no blond in stock just yet!


I can see it now.  Bank robbers all over the country are placing mass quantity orders.  Come to think of it -- I think I saw this guy on a poster at the post office last week!

Be sure to come back in a few days when I show you how to dress like Lady Gaga -- all through shopping on Etsy!

19 comments:

CJ August 11, 2010 at 5:23 PM  

Call me crazy, but I kinda like the hood thing the model is wearing! But...not sure its me.

Following you back. Thanks for the comment.

CJ
http://killsuperwoman.blogspot.com

Semalee August 11, 2010 at 5:25 PM  

I think the bearded hats are my favorite! LOL

Buckeroomama August 11, 2010 at 6:57 PM  

OMG, I might actually just purchase one of those bearded hats for a lark!! Too funny!

Crystal August 12, 2010 at 11:26 AM  

Glad you came to my blog--now I found you. And man, did I miss my calling. Going by these designs, I could make a dress out of sippie cups and wet wipes and make a fortune.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip August 12, 2010 at 2:26 PM  

OMG!! You are so funny, Jennifer. I loved your fashion commentary. You should do that for a living or something. Meanwhile, I am so getting the bearded hat for this upcoming winter. I've always wondered what I would look like with more facial hair...

Lauren August 12, 2010 at 10:58 PM  

Hello
New follower from New friend Fridays!!! Love the beard beenies lol sooo funny! Have a wonderful friday!

xoxoxo
Lauren
www.twentysomethinghousewife.com

Ps. I also host a weekly blog hop! Feel free to link up any time

tramartin August 13, 2010 at 6:26 AM  

Hi, I'm a new follower from New Friend Fridays. My Dh was active duty Air Force for six years now he is Air Guard. I'm also a Stay at home mommy.

Tracy
Life of This SAHM

www.audsbabydays.blogspot.com

Doreen McGettigan August 13, 2010 at 8:03 AM  

Thank you for visiting my blog and your very kind comments. I hope you will do a review for me when the time comes.
Your babies are so precious!
Please tell your husband we are proud of him and we appreciate everything he does for our country(and that goes for you too;Ive been a military wife and it is not always easy).
I am a follower now so I will stop back often..I am going to check out your e-bay store!
Thank you again!

Angela Newsom August 13, 2010 at 1:46 PM  

I found you thru NFF!

I love all things medieval - this is giving me some grand ideas for Christmas:)

Kimberly August 13, 2010 at 10:25 PM  

Hi! You are hilarious. Love this post! :-) I think I need to get my hubs the armor wearing suit...pretty snazzy. I saw you on Bloggy Moms...great blog! Very fun to read! Nice to meet you!!! ~Kimberly

www.stinkerpinker.com

Shining 2 Save August 13, 2010 at 10:56 PM  

Hi! I am your newest follower from the blog hop.

I hope you can stop by and visit my blog, I have a couple of great giveaways going on right now.

Have a great day!

Kari @ http://shining2save.com

lanni @ dandygiveaway.blogspot.com August 14, 2010 at 6:55 AM  

hi! I am laughing so hard at your midieval couture! I'm following you from NFF and would love for you to visit and follow back... you're hilarious :)

Www.dandygiveaway.com

Valerie @ Frugal Family Fun Blog August 14, 2010 at 11:45 AM  

I spend entirely too much time on Etsy, but where do you find this stuff???? I think Mark has a bearded hat in his future... ;-)

Connie W August 14, 2010 at 8:00 PM  

I really like the last one! Would totally come in handy during the cold Colorado winters!

Connie W August 14, 2010 at 8:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
star84vu August 14, 2010 at 10:43 PM  

I am following from Social Parade! Come check out my blog!

http://star84vu.blogspot.com

Alicia August 17, 2010 at 12:45 AM  

You gotta love the bearded caps.. Coming in black and brown.. too cool...I'm following you from mbc mommy blogger friends.. stop by and visit me at healthy living & a balanced you-www.AliciaHunter.net

~Sophisticate Style ~ August 20, 2010 at 9:45 AM  

I seen most of these items on Etsy too. The green hood is kind of neat in it's own way. Great title for your post.

**Yolie
http://SophisticateStyle.blogspot.com

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