The Toy Box Years: 50 Shades of Magic Mike......

The Creators of the Toy Box Years

The creators of the Toy Box Years are my two beautiful daughters and wonderful, handsome soldier husband.

"Nani" (our oldest) is a 11 year old 6th grader who loves Taylor Swift, ballet, books, fashion designing and sewing. Ask her what she wants to be when she grows up and it changes daily to anything from "an artist" to "a teacher" to "a singer/dancer". Nani is also currently fighting a battle against brain cancer -- recently diagnosed in June 2016.

"Nudgie" (our youngest) is a very smiley, very happy, very giggly, very spirited 8 year old 3rd Grader who's favorite toys are anything that gives mommy an anxiety attack - ladders, stepstools, the climbing wall at the playground. Like her sister, she has a love of reading and coloring, loves gymnastics and still provides mommy lots of snuggle time!

"My Marine" is my high school sweetheart. We've been married over 20 years and met when we were 17. (You do the math....) His favorite toys are Blackhawk helicopters, the lawnmower, our steam cleaner, and microbrew beer bottles. My husband is also my hero in that he proudly serves his country as a Blackhawk crew chief (hence his favorite toy!). And need I say that there is nothing hotter than my man in uniform!

All About Me......

Once upon a time I had a career and worked in the corporate world. Once upon a time, I dreamed about leaving that all behind to follow my true calling -- being a wife and mommy.

The first part of my calling was fulfilled in 1995 when I married my Marine (now soldier) and my love. Little did I know that being a military wife would change me in so many ways and that because of that, I would have an extended family all over the world from Japan, to California, to North Carolina.

The second part of my calling took a little doing, but I finally achieved that dream in 2004 with the birth of our first child, followed 4 years later by her baby sister.

So now, when someone asks me what I do for a living - I simply smile and say proudly that I'm following my calling - I'm a mommy and a wife -- and I couldn't be HAPPIER -- I'm living in the Toy Box Years!!

I'm running so far behind this morning because I just had to get this blog post out. Once I get an idea in my head....I have to see it to the end......

A few weeks ago I started reading "50 Shades of Grey" and when I posted my thoughts on it, created such a firestorm that still has residual effects for me. While I have not yet seen the movie, "Magic Mike", the wanton heathen inside me is DYING to see it!

Anyway.....over the past few days, I've seen article after article pop up about reasons WHY you shouldn't partake of this particular entertainment. And hey....I get it. It's ok. It's your choice not to read "50 Shades" or "Harry Potter" or "Twilight" (although I didn't jump on the Twilight bandwagon, but for totally different reasons....)

But this morning, I read an article by Jill Savage that kind of left me wanting to write this blog. First, I have to say that I LOVE Jill Savage and have read many of her books and highly respect her as an author and Christian woman. But clearly our opinions are different.

Please keep in mind that this is MY BLOG and MY OPINIONS. I totally respect spirited debate and in fact, welcome it. But just remember.....my blog. Just sayin'......

But I would like to address 3 points that she makes in her article, which you can read here. And please.....this is NOT an attack on Jill, her values, or her beliefs. Just a spirited debate. (I love that phrase!)

Anyway - Jill writes towards the end of her article -

"I won’t be reading an erotica novel or seeing a sexually tantalizing movie for these reasons:

They can cause me to compare my real life to something that is not real. This can cause me to be dissatisfied with my real life and ultimately become discontent.
They can erode my sense of right and wrong.Sex outside of marriage is wrong, no matter how you paint the picture. I don’t need to feed my mind any message that desensitizes me to what is right and what is wrong.
They can cause me to think about another man. The Bible calls this lust and God says it’s not healthy for our hearts and minds."

Ok....so here we go.....

They can cause me to compare my real life to something that is not real. This can cause me to be dissatisfied with my real life and ultimately become discontent.

To be honest.....I don't know of any friend of mine who has read "50 Shades" or has seen "Magic Mike" and has said...."Oh, my life is so boring, let me read an erotic novel or go to a strip club. Then let me go home and become depressed over the fact that I haven't met a multi-billionaire who will lock me in his room of pain and spank me until I see stars." Sorry.....I have enough in my life to be discontent about.....but my sex life is not one of them. (Sorry Daddy if you just read that!)

They can erode my sense of right and wrong. Sex outside of marriage is wrong, no matter how you paint the picture. I don’t need to feed my mind any message that desensitizes me to what is right and what is wrong.

First....no one in "50 Shades" was married - except for the parents. They entered a consensual relationship. And as far as eroding your sense of right and wrong.....at this stage of my life, if I haven't figured out right and wrong, then I need to have some serious therapy. If I read a book about bank robbers, does that mean that I have desensitized myself and my sense of right and wrong about that? Oh wait....I just read a book about Bonnie and Clyde...how about if I spice up my life, rob a bank, and then go on the run, ending my life in a halestorm of gunfire.

They can cause me to think about another man. The Bible calls this lust and God says it’s not healthy for our hearts and minds."

And here's where we can truly get into a spirited debate. I have been to a male strip club (as has my mother before me.....and my parents are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary AND she goes to church every Sunday....just sayin'......) My Marine and I each have a "List". I think you know what I mean when I say "The List". It's a list....well, I won't go there....but for us it's healthy, it's fun, and it's safe. I know Kate Beckinsale is on his list and my list includes a roll call of celebrities that is long and distinguished....and is topped by Johnny Depp. BUT....my point is that the list is fun. It puts me and My Marine in the mood....we laugh about it, we joke about it, and when the bedroom door is closed, I put on the skin tight black catsuit from Underworld and he wears eyeliner and a bandana....no, no, no....I kid.... (Really, Daddy.....I do kid.......) I'm just trying to say that when I'm in an intimate moment with my husband, I'm not lying back and thinking about England (or Johnny Depp).....I am connecting with my husband. He is in my thoughts....not Christian Grey or Magic Mike. They are tools for us.....fun and harmless.

As I end this post (and make a mad dash for the shower to get out the door on time....), I'd also like to say two words..."Free Will". God also gave us free will to choose our path. While some may not see it as the right path, for some, it is the right path. (And I'm just referring to the topic at hand...not anything truly harmful like drugs, crime, alcholism, etc. etc.)

Nowhere here did I judge anyone or use judgemental words. I just did a simple point/counterpoint to a very well written article by a woman I truly do respect.

Now....let's bring on the next firestorm! =)

3 comments:

Dawn July 11, 2012 at 7:30 AM: Isn't it sad that you had to say "my blog" or "my opinion" so many times for people to know it is YOUR thoughts not what you think everyone else should think?

I have no issue with people not wanting to read or see different things. And I appreciate that the author said it was why SHE didn't want to read them not why no one else should read them.

I still have issue though with the way you were attacked over it. It still set my blood boiling when I think about your "firestorm".

I had my own reasons for not being able to finish 50 Shades. I won't tell others not to read it, but (when asked) I will share my feelings about it. My reasons are far less about the book having erotica and me being a "good Christian woman" than people think.

You want to see Magic Mike? Go for it. We could make it a girls night out while you break in one of those new babysitters if you like. :)
Unknown July 11, 2012 at 12:47 PM: Hey Jen! I agree with you (mostly, lol), but wanted to share an alternative viewpoint. ;) Most folks don't know my personal history with this, but my hubby is a porn addict (kind of recovering, if you ever really can). Because I've experienced first hand the damage that is done to the person themselves (warped sense of intimacy, inability to connect to a physical person, lowered sex drive w/o more intense stimuli, etc) as well as to those directly affected by it (i.e. me!) I agree with most of the bloggers I've read that are advising women to stay away from these types of things. I personally won't read erotica or see a movie like Magic Mike. I even avoid romance novels. It's not because I'll "lust" after another man (my hubby is the hottest guy on this planet, sorry ladies, lol), it's that I don't want warp what I DO have with my hubby; which is very different from what I read in those kinds of books (I didn't marry an extremely romantic or affectionate man; I'm not complaining, that's just who I married). However.... I avoid those things because to ME they are a stumbling block and open a very dangerous door. I think what we have to be careful of is the whole stumbling block before a brother/sister concept that Paul tells us about in Rom 14. That's one of my favorite passages because it addresses this very type of thing (it's also useful when addressing drinking, dancing, etc, which I am all for btw, lol!). =)

I think the reason some folks are getting so uptight about this book and movie is because to THEM it's a sin/stumbling block and they struggle to see other Christians not having a problem with it and in some cases endorsing it. To you, it's not a stumbling block, but to another it may be.

I'm not in ANY way saying you've done anything wrong. I think what your supposed "friend" did to you after you posted that you were reading the book was totally wrong (and pretty bit**y, lol). I just wanted to point out what is most possibly the reason folks are having such a hard time with this. By your reading the book and saying how much you loved it (thereby endorsing it), they feel a stumbling block is being put in front of them (I'm not saying it was intentional on your part at all!). And for some of our sisters, if they open that door in their marriage it could be devastating for them. But for others, like you, it doesn't effect them the same way and you can enjoy it as a little bit of fun. Anyway, that's just my perspective on the whole thing. =)

And I have to say, I LOVE that you and your hubby have a great sex life!! What's the fun of marriage if you're not having fun in the bedroom, right?! =D Rock on lady!

~Alyna <3
Julie Danielle July 11, 2012 at 10:03 PM: I TOTALLY agree with you! I have heard the arguments and they just don't really work for me. I understand when people say that they can not handle a book like that but I just don't quite agree with the reasons people are giving.

But it is like anything else, some people can handle it and some can't just like alcohol.

Now I have only read book 1 but I don't feel any lust for Christian anyways...LOL