>> Saturday, December 22, 2012
The last we saw Chippy he was serving 24-hours in solitary confinement for huffing Vicks. (Click on the link to get caught up with Chippy's adventures!)
I had received a report that Chippy was doing well, attended all of his therapy sessions, and spent his solitary confinement in quiet meditation. I had hopes that he would be able to return home....but it seems that it was all a ruse. Chippy was using his quiet time to plan an elaborate escape. Sometime during the night, he hijacked a reindeer and took off with Mommy's birthday bottle of tequila. Security cameras caught this image before he flew into the night. If you see this elf, please call 1-800-KEEBLER.
The Nutcracker Police found Chippy early the next morning. He'd overdosed on tequila and Vicodin. (We know where he got the tequila, and we think he got the Vicodin from Peppy, the drug-dealing elf down the street.) Chippy leaves behind Santa, Mrs. Claus, a cousin named Tinsel and a cat named Snowball. In lieu of poinsiettas, The Claus Family asked that donations be sent to the Keebler Foundation -- a worthwhile rehab center that takes in addict elves and retrains them with employeable job skills such as cookie making and snack food marketing. RIP Chippy (or is he really gone?)
Thanks to a tip by a trusted informant, the Nutcracker police have been informed that Chippy had elaborately faked his "untimely death". An APB had been put out, along with a warrant for Chippy's arrest. If you see this Elf, approach with caution.....
Chippy decided to do the right thing and turn himself in. He was taken into custody late Wednesday night and will have a hearing in the North Pole Court at a later time.
After turning himself in, Chippy spent the night in county lockup where he had to a share a cell with the infamous South Pole Penguin Gang.....who have given Chippy the jailhouse nickname of "Jingle Boy". One can only imagine the indignities he had to endure from these cold-hearted penguins. Chippy will have a hearing in the morning to determine if he will be stripped of his "elfin duties" and banished to "Abandoned Toy Box Land"
Chippy had his court appearance early Friday morning and was defended by the famous Elfin mob lawyer, Pepper Mintstick. The charges against Chippy were many and those called to testify included the Daddy Dolls, Santa Earl, and Holly Berry, the stripper from the Candy Cane Club. Because the charges were so severe, Santa was called in to pass sentencing on Chippy. Being the generous soul he is - and since it IS just a few days before Christmas - Chippy was released with time served and 24-hours of community service.
Will Chippy be able to turn his life around? Can he be rehabilitated and bring joy to the lives of children everywhere? Or will he continue to spiral into destruction? It's just a few days before Christmas -- and maybe there will be a Christmas miracle for Chippy!