Momnesia - Sleep Deprivation: Do's and Don'ts

>> Friday, April 16, 2010

Week 3 - Sleep Deprivation: Do's and Don'ts

If you've been following my series so far, you now have brought your new, beautiful angel home from the hospital. And after the initial "newness" wears off, you now find that you are in the full grips of sleep deprivation.

Whether it's breastfeeding, colic, co-sleeping, not co-sleeping, or all of the above, you are just not getting any sleep and the world around you is really starting to look fuzzy. Kind of like your hair because you haven't washed it in four days.

You're finding that even the simplest of tasks are now more difficult.  And you often find yourself staring into space thinking, what the hell just happened?

So moms, I will give you a simplified list of things.

First, the list of DON'Ts: 
(And I will neither confirm nor deny that any of the following has happened to me!)

DON'T powder your baby with powdered sugar instead of baby powder.  This could happen if you're changing the baby in the vicinity of the kitchen and mistakenly grab the powdered sugar shaker instead of the baby powder from your diaper bag.  Then you'll be wondering why the dogs keep following you around and licking the baby's feet.

DON'T mistakenly pour Italian dressing into your coffee instead of your favorite cinnamon-vanilla coffee creamer.

DON'T forget that you do have a plate of food in front of you when you start to nod off at the dinner table.  Mashed potatoes really don't make a good exfoliator.

DON'T talk on your cell phone to a friend while complaining that you can't find your cell phone.

DON'T watch a Spanish soap opera on TV for about a half hour and then realize that you don't even speak Spanish.  But then keep watching because you really think you've got the plot figured out.

DON'T think that you can use those few minutes that you're in the bathroom to take a nap.  You'll wake up 30 minutes later with a sweaty ass and a toilet seat ring imprint.

DON'T put two sets of contacts in - since you couldn't remember that you put the first set in at the baby's 3am feeding.

DON'T keep the toothpaste near the diaper cream.  Your breath will smell like Desitin and your baby's farts will smell minty fresh.  (Which really isn't a totally bad thing....)

DON'T mistake your pillow for your child and try to breastfeed it.

DON'T try to be a good wife and pack your husband's lunch.  He'll be forever confused as to why you packed your car keys, the dog's chew toy, and the salt shaker.

DON'T try to pour a cup of coffee and make a bottle at the same time.  It's inevitable that you'll mix everything up and your baby will be on a caffeine high for the next 6 nights.


Now mommies, don't give up hope!  For every DON'T, there is a DO!

DO "fake it" every once in awhile.  And no, I don't mean that....I mean not hearing the baby cry so that your husband will get up for that next diaper change, bottle feeding or burping. 

DO praise yourself for completing simple tasks (that don't require much brain power) such as blinking, breathing, and telling time on a digital clock.

DO find little places for power naps - in the rocker with the baby, in the middle of changing the sheets on your bed, on the laundry piled up in the laundry basket.

DO get a coffee pot with a timer and ask hubby to set it up for you.

DO take the help whenever you feel comfortable - even if said help comes from your mother, mother-in-law, or friend you haven't talked to in 4 months.

DO check the volume of the baby monitor before going to sleep catnap, or else you'll be peeling your husband off the ceiling when the baby first starts to cry.

DO check yourself before leaving the house to make sure you're wearing:  matching socks and shoes, breast pads, underwear, your tshirt the right way.

DO cherish every moment that you are bonding with your little angel. These moments pass so quickly!

Next week:  Tips to keep that baby brain of yours in good working order!


bbcd mama April 16, 2010 at 6:35 AM  

The Spanish soap opera one was my favorite!

Java April 16, 2010 at 6:41 AM  

lol...thanks!! Yeah 40 was tough for me! It sounded way older then 39!
You don't look anywhere near 40!
Love your blog too!
Following you back!! :)

Aging Mommy April 16, 2010 at 7:44 AM  

Great post again! I think the sleep deprivation associated with new babies is THE hardest thing of all. That Zombie status is the worst.

Crystal April 16, 2010 at 8:07 AM  

Thanks for stopping by - great blog - following you now.

Erin April 16, 2010 at 8:57 AM  

I used to lay on the bathroom floor and nap. It was the only place that I couldn't hear the baby crying. Horrible I know.

Maria April 16, 2010 at 10:08 AM  

Follwoing back from ff. Cute post, LOL

Heavenly Savings April 16, 2010 at 12:49 PM  

Cute!!! I’m another new follower! Feel free to check out my blog as well!
Happy Friday Follow! Hope to Blog with you again soon!

Jolly Green Mommy April 16, 2010 at 1:54 PM  

I'm here from Friday Follow. I love this post.

I didn't pour salad dressing in my coffee, but I did pour it (Ginger salad dressing) on my dinner (butternut squash risotto) one night, and had no choice but to eat it because there was no extra food.

magically ordinary April 16, 2010 at 6:51 PM  

So funny! I remember those days! I loved them and yet they were so hard!!

Great post!

Cheryl April 16, 2010 at 7:27 PM  

Love this & can totally relate to the examples given (may have done several in the past few months..)

A Lil Story April 16, 2010 at 8:37 PM  

Hehehe, love this post!!

Happy FF!


VKT April 16, 2010 at 11:03 PM  

Hi there. I found your blog through Friday Follow. If you would be interested in following my blog, I would gladly return the favor.

Joshlin April 17, 2010 at 8:50 AM  

Ohh I remember that time. At 3 years old my son just started sleeping more than 4 hours at a time without waking up. He is starting to sleep almost through the night now! Yeah!!!!

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