Momnesia - Sleep Deprivation: Do's and Don'ts

Week 3 - Sleep Deprivation: Do's and Don'ts

If you've been following my series so far, you now have brought your new, beautiful angel home from the hospital. And after the initial "newness" wears off, you now find that you are in the full grips of sleep deprivation.

Whether it's breastfeeding, colic, co-sleeping, not co-sleeping, or all of the above, you are just not getting any sleep and the world around you is really starting to look fuzzy. Kind of like your hair because you haven't washed it in four days.

You're finding that even the simplest of tasks are now more difficult.  And you often find yourself staring into space thinking, what the hell just happened?

So moms, I will give you a simplified list of things.

First, the list of DON'Ts: 

(And I will neither confirm nor deny that any of the following has happened to me!)

DON'T powder your baby with powdered sugar instead of baby powder.  This could happen if you're changing the baby in the vicinity of the kitchen and mistakenly grab the powdered sugar shaker instead of the baby powder from your diaper bag.  Then you'll be wondering why the dogs keep following you around and licking the baby's feet.

DON'T mistakenly pour Italian dressing into your coffee instead of your favorite cinnamon-vanilla coffee creamer.

DON'T forget that you do have a plate of food in front of you when you start to nod off at the dinner table.  Mashed potatoes really don't make a good exfoliator.

DON'T talk on your cell phone to a friend while complaining that you can't find your cell phone.

DON'T watch a Spanish soap opera on TV for about a half hour and then realize that you don't even speak Spanish.  But then keep watching because you really think you've got the plot figured out.

DON'T think that you can use those few minutes that you're in the bathroom to take a nap.  You'll wake up 30 minutes later with a sweaty ass and a toilet seat ring imprint.

DON'T put two sets of contacts in - since you couldn't remember that you put the first set in at the baby's 3am feeding.

DON'T keep the toothpaste near the diaper cream.  Your breath will smell like Desitin and your baby's farts will smell minty fresh.  (Which really isn't a totally bad thing....)

DON'T mistake your pillow for your child and try to breastfeed it.

DON'T try to be a good wife and pack your husband's lunch.  He'll be forever confused as to why you packed your car keys, the dog's chew toy, and the salt shaker.

DON'T try to pour a cup of coffee and make a bottle at the same time.  It's inevitable that you'll mix everything up and your baby will be on a caffeine high for the next 6 nights.

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Now mommies, don't give up hope!  For every DON'T, there is a DO!

DO "fake it" every once in awhile.  And no, I don't mean that....I mean not hearing the baby cry so that your husband will get up for that next diaper change, bottle feeding or burping. 

DO praise yourself for completing simple tasks (that don't require much brain power) such as blinking, breathing, and telling time on a digital clock.

DO find little places for power naps - in the rocker with the baby, in the middle of changing the sheets on your bed, on the laundry piled up in the laundry basket.

DO get a coffee pot with a timer and ask hubby to set it up for you.

DO take the help whenever you feel comfortable - even if said help comes from your mother, mother-in-law, or friend you haven't talked to in 4 months.

DO check the volume of the baby monitor before going to sleep catnap, or else you'll be peeling your husband off the ceiling when the baby first starts to cry.

DO check yourself before leaving the house to make sure you're wearing:  matching socks and shoes, breast pads, underwear, your tshirt the right way.

DO cherish every moment that you are bonding with your little angel. These moments pass so quickly!


Next week:  Tips to keep that baby brain of yours in good working order!