How To Be A Good Wife - Week 4

>> Thursday, March 11, 2010

Now ladies - we all know that a clean home is a tranquil home.  Ok - maybe in to keep a clean and tranquil home 1950's-style, read on......


1955 Rule #4

Clear away the clutter.

Make one last trip though the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc.  Run a dust cloth over the tables and make time to vacuum

Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

2010 Rule #4
As you get out of bed, discover that your husband has left his wet towel on the bed -- again.  Decide you've had enough and spread said towel over his pillows.

Since you'll be home all day with the kids, fortify yourself with a huge cup of coffee.

Decide that you have strength and patience enough to do only one household chore.  So either you all have clean clothes or a clean house.  Clean clothes win - at least for now. 
Survey the piles of clothes on the floor.  Become confused as to whether they are clean or dirty since they've been sitting there for about two weeks now.  Make an executive decision and decide that they are all dirty.  As you throw everything into the laundry basket become surprised when you find the lost library DVD/book/CD that you've been searching for (and already paid the fine for)
Before you make your way downstairs, survey the obstacle course in front of you - complete with books, toys, hairclips, shoes, etc.  Plan your route carefully because it's too much work to go down, clear the steps and then come back up to get the laundry basket)
Decide that you'll be eating dinner in front of the TV again tonight since the kitchen table is still piled with magazines, last Sunday's paper, a vase full of dead flowers from Valentine's Day, your husband's lunch (that he forgot AGAIN this morning), and a stack of various coloring pages that your 5-yr. old painstakingly colored for every single member of the family.

Later that afternoon feel like a bad mother because your 5-yr. old found some of the coloring pages that you discreetly tried to hide in the trash.  Blame the dog and retrieve said artwork from the trash -- brushing off coffee grounds and banana peels.

Forget dusting....have the kids chase the dog through the house and hope her tail hits the dusty spots on the end tables.

Same with mopping the kitchen floor......

Ask the kids to clean up the clutter in their room.  Reinforce that "cleaning up the clutter" does NOT mean "hiding everything under the bed, in the closet or in the dog's crate" -- and that includes hiding the baby too.

When your husband does get home, greet him at the door with two beers in hand -- one for him and one for you. Figure that the more you both drink, the cleaner the house will look.

At the end of the day, stand in the doorway of your family room, watch your family playing, and tell yourself that nothing short of an A-bomb or moving away will ever get your house completely and totally clean and in order.  And deep down, you know you wouldn't have it any other way. 


For previous week's lessons on how to be a good wife, click on the links below:

How To Be A Good Wife - Week 1

How To Be A Good Wife - Week 2

How To Be A Good Wife - Week 3


casey aubut March 11, 2010 at 10:58 PM  

Hilarious!! But sadly, for me the hubby works from home- and is on to me! He sees and hears all day the chaos of my life with two toddlers!! If only I had the oppurtunity to create an illusion....haha! ;0

amanda March 12, 2010 at 5:44 AM  

ohhh i love that stairs picture! ours doesn't look exactly like that, but i do pile stuff on the bottom for the next time i go up...if i remember to grab it!!

and wouldn't it be nice to vacuum every day. ha!

Aging Mommy March 12, 2010 at 7:51 AM  

Your How To Be A Good Wife Posts are so original and downright hilarious! Thank you for making me laugh so much on a Friday morning!

Thank you also for checking out my blog and the follow! Looking forward to following you and reading your next good housekeeping tips!

I think in one sense Moms years ago had it so much "easier" because kids just went out for the day and played with their friends in the street. My mother would send my sister and I out with strict instructions not to come home until lunch and then again afterwards out of the house not to return until tea. So the house was clean, the laundry done and dinner was on the table every night, but I don't ever remember my mother playing with us as kids, taking us places or simply spending time with us so you are right, what really matters is enjoying your kids while they are there as in no time at all they will be gone, and when they are and your house is all clean and tidy and your laundry basket is empty you will wish you could turn back the clock!

Sarah Lynne March 12, 2010 at 9:54 AM  

Happy Friday!! I am a New Follower!!


Kel March 12, 2010 at 10:06 AM  

LOL! Love it! Happy Friday!


Christie Cottage March 12, 2010 at 10:11 AM  

Happy Follow Friday!

Hil'Lesha March 12, 2010 at 10:25 AM  

Happy Follow Friday! =)

Please check out my blog at

Tracy March 12, 2010 at 12:10 PM  

New friday follower here!

Okay, when I first started to read your post, I thought, I don't know if I can relate to this person.

But I read on and laughed out loud!! hilarious! So much of that looks & sounds familiar, from the toy covered stairs that look identical to those of my childhood, to the part about your 5 year old finding the discarded coloring pages in the trash! I've had that happen too many times to remember!

thanks for sharing your modern day version of the 1950's housewife!

Kristi March 12, 2010 at 12:28 PM  

Hi! I'm doing a bit of blog hopping today and can't really tell you how I got here, but boy am I glad I did! This was hilarious! I can't wait to read weeks 1-3! I'll be following you, and visiting often, if that's okay of course!!

Have a great weekend, and very nice to meet you!

Much More Than Mommy March 12, 2010 at 1:05 PM  

You are too funny!!! I love these so much!

liz March 12, 2010 at 1:38 PM  

the stairs and kitchen table look EXACTLY like our house!

Stephanie - My Frugal Lifestyle March 12, 2010 at 5:10 PM  

Thanks for following me! I love your "How to be a good wife" weeks! It makes me really want to de-clutter my RIGHT NOW!

A Mom After God's Own Heart March 12, 2010 at 6:44 PM  

This made my day as a SAHM of two girls, and a WAHM with a home daycare!!! LOL....great blog. I found you through Follow Friday and am now following you!

Krajcimama March 12, 2010 at 7:25 PM  

Makes me want to get a dog again...okay, not REALLY...maybe just one to visit for 15 minutes at the end of the would be VERY WELL FED!!

Amanda: March 12, 2010 at 8:02 PM  

Love it. I was actually able to wash the kitchen floor today... it's been about a month since the last time I did it, LOL. Accomplishing just THAT was the highlight of my day :)

MoziEsm√© March 13, 2010 at 3:18 AM  

I am so much a 2010 woman! That clean house/clean laundry decision fits me to a T - if I get a load of laundry and dishes done every day, I feel very accomplished!

Freely Living Life March 13, 2010 at 5:09 PM  

Hi there!!

We are already fans/followers of your blog. Just stopping by to check things out and say hello. Come on over and visit us when you get a free moment. Have a fantastic weekend! ((hugs)) <3

Mommie Daze March 13, 2010 at 7:46 PM  

LOL! I definitely like the 2010 version better. I'm glad we're not the only ones who eat in the living room, because the kitchen table is piled with stuff.

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