How To Be A Good Wife - Week 4

Now ladies - we all know that a clean home is a tranquil home.  Ok - maybe in 1955....so to keep a clean and tranquil home 1950's-style, read on......

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1955 Rule #4

Clear away the clutter.

Make one last trip though the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc.  Run a dust cloth over the tables and make time to vacuum

Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

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2010 Rule #4
 
As you get out of bed, discover that your husband has left his wet towel on the bed -- again.  Decide you've had enough and spread said towel over his pillows.
 

 

Since you'll be home all day with the kids, fortify yourself with a huge cup of coffee.

Decide that you have strength and patience enough to do only one household chore.  So either you all have clean clothes or a clean house.  Clean clothes win - at least for now. 
  

 
Survey the piles of clothes on the floor.  Become confused as to whether they are clean or dirty since they've been sitting there for about two weeks now.  Make an executive decision and decide that they are all dirty.  As you throw everything into the laundry basket become surprised when you find the lost library DVD/book/CD that you've been searching for (and already paid the fine for)
 

 
Before you make your way downstairs, survey the obstacle course in front of you - complete with books, toys, hairclips, shoes, etc.  Plan your route carefully because it's too much work to go down, clear the steps and then come back up to get the laundry basket)
 

 
Decide that you'll be eating dinner in front of the TV again tonight since the kitchen table is still piled with magazines, last Sunday's paper, a vase full of dead flowers from Valentine's Day, your husband's lunch (that he forgot AGAIN this morning), and a stack of various coloring pages that your 5-yr. old painstakingly colored for every single member of the family.

Later that afternoon feel like a bad mother because your 5-yr. old found some of the coloring pages that you discreetly tried to hide in the trash.  Blame the dog and retrieve said artwork from the trash -- brushing off coffee grounds and banana peels.

Forget dusting....have the kids chase the dog through the house and hope her tail hits the dusty spots on the end tables.

 
Same with mopping the kitchen floor......

Ask the kids to clean up the clutter in their room.  Reinforce that "cleaning up the clutter" does NOT mean "hiding everything under the bed, in the closet or in the dog's crate" -- and that includes hiding the baby too.

When your husband does get home, greet him at the door with two beers in hand -- one for him and one for you. Figure that the more you both drink, the cleaner the house will look.

At the end of the day, stand in the doorway of your family room, watch your family playing, and tell yourself that nothing short of an A-bomb or moving away will ever get your house completely and totally clean and in order.  And deep down, you know you wouldn't have it any other way. 
 

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For previous week's lessons on how to be a good wife, click on the links below:

How To Be A Good Wife - Week 1

How To Be A Good Wife - Week 2

How To Be A Good Wife - Week 3